


Safe & Sound

by Sleeptightmuthafucka



Series: Safe & Sound [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter is a Little Shit, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 35,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleeptightmuthafucka/pseuds/Sleeptightmuthafucka
Summary: "I dare you to..." Peter grins evilly. "Sleep with Harry Osborn.""I ACCEPT!" Yells Harley."ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Tony shouts, panicked."But why? It isn't like he'll say no...""No sex until you're twenty." He stated."A little late for that..."Tony paled.~~(It will have more detail in the work)Peter is patrolling one evening until Iron Man comes to him, asking for his help to fight Captain America. (CA: CW ends at the airport fight scene). And then Peter's relationship blooms from there. Skip to a few months ahead, Harley, Peter's brother, and Tony's son comes for his monthly visit at the same time Peter's class goes on a field trip. (Tony and the others are Not blood-related).I also have this posted on my Wattpad account, same username.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Michelle Jones & Harley Keener & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Safe & Sound [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920889
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	1. Never

"Peter! Breakfast!"

Kato's shrill voice knocks me from being half asleep, reminding me of yet another thing I've forgotten about. I jump out of bed and look down to see I'm still in my bloody clothes from yesterday. Then look on my bed. "Shit there's a stain." It's only on the blanket that I must have slept on, so it didn't seep through the mattress which is a relief. So I fold the blanket so it covers that part in case someone were to come into my room and see it.

I'll have to ask one of the girls later on how to get blood out of a blanket, maybe MJ. That'll be so awkward.

I throw off my stiff-from-blood sweater and drop it onto the floor, wincing at my bruises and that I might have just put blood on the floor. Oh well.

I checked before I took it off of course, I'm the only one still in our room at the orphanage, probably because everyone is already at school or downstairs. I must have slept in again. Or been to busy trying not to die from blood loss. As I trip and jump to slide my new pants up, I try to remember why I woke up in blood. I got hurt, that's for sure. Did I go Spider-Man-ing?

I shake it from my brain. Right now that's not my problem, getting to school on time _is._ Plus, I can just ask Ned when I get there.

In 5 seconds I'm in the bathroom, using my powers that makes me not only strong, but faster than what I was before, who I was before, to brush my teeth and brush my hair that does what it wants anyways. Then before I know it, I've jumped down the flight of stairs (no one's even here, it doesn't matter) and turned a corner sharply, pulling my shoulder in so it doesn't catch on the edge, and running out the pretty doors of auburn and glass, swinging the backpack I snatched into a more cumfy spot between my shoulder blades that _hopefully_ won't fall off as I run to school. (the backpack, not his shoulder blades)

See, today is one of those days I kind of wish people knew I was Spider-Man, so they wouldn't be surprised when a teenage boy from Queens 'Sunset Hills' orphanage doesn't start shooting webs from his sleeves.

But, that is the way of life, I guess. People don't know my powers, therefore I cannot use them. So, running and apologizing repeatedly through crowds of people on the streets of Queens, and jumping onto the subway before it leaves is what I must resort to. It's painful, sure, but it works.

Just as I get to the school grounds, I can see the last person file in, besides the few stragglers like me that might be late. And then, of course, as Parker Luck goes, I ran into the class two seconds late, but because this teacher is... decent for a human, he says, "Take your seat Mr. Parker we've started."

And I do. I sit beside Ned, who beside him is MJ, and they lean in. I look at them questioningly. They give me a look back. "What?" I whisper.

"Dude what happened last night?! The comms went silent after your fight, we literally thought you were dead!" Ned whispers. I look at MJ for confirmation, which she gives.

"Oh... I-I'm not sure, I went out last night? Yeah, I must have. Nevermind. Well I woke up in blood and when I looked for the cause it was a poor excuse of some stitches on my ribs where a knife must have-" I did a stabby motion. "-You know."

Ned's eyes widened. "Dude you can't keep doing this if you're gonna die! And- Oh shit, dude it's going through your sweater!" He points to somewhere under my arm and I look, MJ following his finger too, and we see a small red spot where it must be leaking through. Shit.

So, for the rest of the day, I went around school with my arm staying by my side to cover the tiny red spot, that didn't grow any bigger after MJ made me death threats that if I didn't go with her to a deserted bathroom so she could fix the stitches.

And that was my terrible day, one of the best moments was when Flash threw a Subway (The store) wrapper at my back, and when I almost spilt the web-fluid during chemistry class into my drawer, which would have been _terrible._

Ned, MJ and I talk about weird things while we work, like if I went to a Poker game with all the baddies and drug dealers, not only could I take down some Igor Karkaroff's, but I could get some money from plyaing because my Spidey-sense would help me win, _and_ people there will be high as fuck after so I could use my webs and just say 'Shh this isn't real' and just swing out of there.

I'm really liking this plan, but before we can discuss it any further the bell rings and school is over, and since today is Thursday, it's Patrol day; MJ, Ned and I developed a schedule so I could still go patrolling and kick goonie-ass, and also I have time to be with them and build LEGO Deathstars and paint our nails and all that, and one of my favourite activities on our weekly sleepover, Friday to Saturday, is listening to MJ perform a speech for me and Ned about racial equality and Feminism and all that jazz, which is so motivational, and afterwards me and Ned are practically ready to go onto the streets and start a riot, but we refrain from doing that and instead play Nerf war and listen to Black Sabbath.

So as soon as the bell rings I wave goodbye to my two favourite doofus', then make sure no ones around and jump over the fence. I have to go home first and once I have dinner the orphanage will allow me to go out, as long as I'm home no later than 10:00, which I'd say is a very good deal. But they trust me, and I always grab a little something for the headmasters, mrs. and mr. King, who are really kind.

And sometimes I even swing by (pun intended) the hospital and visit May, who I miss so much, but it's okay because she's still here, I can still talk with her.

But of course, I still have to check in every hour with Ned and MJ. Yes, I have them on comms sometimes, but they have homework and things to do, so they can't be there all the time, which leads to my second option if one of them doesn't respond; I press a button on my watch which sends an instant ping to Ned, and MJ's phone which tells them I'm alright. Of course, sometimes I can't do either, like for instance I was hunting a major Dave and they were fighting me, then that means I'm in probably trouble. But usually I manage to send them a ping or message through comms, so it's alright.

We've developed ways to communicate and ensure each others safety, which is amazing considering we created all this tech from the dollar store and dumpster diving, not to mention we're literally 15. And sometimes I'm working overtime at Delmar's for weeks, the cost of small things like a screw for my web shooter or a pencil, adds to helping pay the hospital bill for May.

Which reminds me, I need to call Lucie one of my favourite nurses and say thank you for helping May even when it wasn't in her perscribed hours.

God, so many things to do. But right now, the smells from the fastfoods and restaurants across the street are maing me ravenous, and tonight i my turn to help cook, which means I have to get there earlier to prepare. But it also means I get some choice in what we eat, so yay.

_**~~~Time skip to after dinner.~~~~** _

_Quick quick quick gotta clean the dishes gotta clean-- HAHA! I am DONE!_

The wooden cupboard closes with a dull thud and I pump my fists in the air, taking one last sweep with my eyes of the counters and kitchen, then deem it clean enough. 

_Take that stupid dishes!_

Manny, a little 5-year-old giggly boy who I adore along with the rest of the kids, watches me with a wrinkled nose and a smile, an expression only toddlers can pull off. "You're funny Peeta." He says, which makes me grin. 

I crouch down and hold out my hands, wiggling my fingers. He squeals when I start to slowly approach like a wolf. "Not as funny as you though!" I snatch him and twirl him around as he squeals and giggles in the air. 

When I place him down he wriggles out of my grasp and runs away a little, only to be caught again by my hand around his wrist and I tug him back, growling "Come back here you little stinker!", hugging him from behind while he squirms, and I placing a kiss on his head, then let go. 

"Love you bud! See you tomorrow, kay?" I call, walking to my room and Manny waves to me, his tiny hand flopping in the air.

"Bye Peet!"

I love him so much. He's my little baby. I take two steps at a time, once three steps and I stumble, which earns a snicker from Damon, another orphan, who was passing by at the top of the stairs.

"Don't break a limb Peter," Is all he says. 

I grin and sigh once I'm walking the halls, standing up straight. _Even if I did break a limb it'd be gone in a week,_ I think. God, I love my Spider-powers.

It's a ritual now, a schedule I know by heart; I spend 30 minutes in my room doing homework and studying, then once the clock hits 7:00 I'm out of there, grabbing my bag that has my suit in it and shouting a goodbye only the kids who share a room with me could decipher, since it's just a jumble of words. But they understand all the same. I make sure to rap my knuckles once and quickly on Mrs. Kings office to let her know I'm going out, and since she knows my schedule pretty well I don't doubt she expected me to be leaving.

And once I'm outside, breathing in the fresh air and sneezing at the sudden sunshine, I feel like I'm free. Which is a great feeling.

And as I'm walking the streets, for some reason feeling absolutely at home and confident, I smile at every person that passes, hoping that at least if they're having a bad day they can have some of my good day, since I have more than enough to share.

I jump into an alley, shrugging my backpack off my shoulders. Ah no, it fell. I pick it up, still running into the back, zipping it open. I pull out my Spider-Man suit.

The fabric of the suit is familiar in my hands, and I can't help but grin down at it.

"Oh, it's good to be back." I mutter, smiling like a doofus who's still only in my underwear, shit, gotta fix that.

In one minute, I'm running onto the street changed with my backpack set on my back. A lot of people are looking at me strangely. I should've crawled up the alley wall and onto the roof so I don't look like a maniac but noooo my stupid head forgot I had powers.

I sigh and start running through the crowded street, hoping I'll see something I can shoot onto, other than the tall lad who just passed, what is he, part giraffe?

"Sorry- I-I'm sorry..., coming through — sorry!" I bump into another person who's nose crinkles.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He asks. I put my hands on my hips, trying to look cool.

"I-I'm Spider-Man!"

The guy snorts. "Whatever. That's only youtube stuff."

He doesn't believe me, and I grin. "Sir, you're going to want to step back," I say, getting an idea. I run to a lamp post and start to crawl up it. I hear gasps and muttering from the crowd below. I stand on the top of it now, looking down at the street.

I wave. "Hi I'm Spider-Man."

"Do a flip!" Yells someone. I spot them and grin. I do a backflip. The crowd cheers and I bow, then shoot high onto a building and pull up on my strings very hard, so it flings me up and I get catapulted into the sky, doing a flip. 

Then there is this one moment of peace, where I am upside down and just falling, and nothing else in the world exists.

That is, until I'm caught be something hard and brought onto a building rooftop after much complaining from me. The thing that carried my drops me, then sounds like it's whirring as it lands somewhere else on the roof.

I pick myself up off the dirty apartment top, brushing off the dust. I start to say "What the he..." But I stop when I see that the thing that caught me was _Iron Man._

_Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod okay okay I gotta keep it together don't make a fool out of yourself!_

"You- you're--"

"Iron Man?" Then the suit opens up and _Tony freaking Stark_ steps out, his face set into an expression I can't decipher. "Yeah, even though the suits aren't always technically _Iron,_ I guess the name has stuck, but that doesn't matter." He takes a step forwards. I take a step back. "I'm here, because..." He sighs. "Listen, Spider...ling, Spiderboy... whatever--"

"Spider-Man," I mutter.

"--You are, I need your help to fight someone. Normally I would have, you know, done my reaserch and found out, who you are, really, under that mask, but I don't have that time."

I don't even hear him. My brain stopped working after he asked for my help.

_Oh my god Tony Stark needs my help!? THIS IS AMAZING!_

"You're speaking out loud, you know," He says, and I flush with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize--" He holds up a hand and I fall silent.

"Will you do it... or not, because I'm on a tight schedule and right now if you're just going to fanboy... fangirl... fanperson- whatever, I don't really have the time. So, yes, or no."

I blink. "What- what are we fighting." Then I clear my throat and make my voice deeper, standing taller. " _who_ are we fighting?"

He sighs. "Making your voice deeper doesn't make you sound any less than what you normally sound like- a teenage boy. And I can only tell you if you come with me to fight him, because of S.H.I.E.L.D. and all that jazz."

"Him? Who's him? And what's S.H.I.E.L.D?" I ask, reflexively taking a step forward. And to myself, I mutter quietly, "I am a teenage boy." But luckily he doesn't hear.

"Just..." Mr. Stark sighed. "Will you help or not?" He looks at me, in the eyes, (or mask), and waits for my answer. When I don't give him one because I'm too stunned to say anything, he does a quick nod and starts walking back to his suit. "Okay. I understand."

When I realize he is leaving, I run back to him, calling his name. "Wait! Mr. Stark! I'll help!"

Mr. Stark turns to look back and I finish jogging over to him. "Um... Great. And don't call me 'Mr. Stark.' Makes me feel old. Now let's go." He starts to leave again, stepping into his suit.

"Wait, right now?" I can't even believe this is happening. My idol just asked for help. He came to me. _He chose me!_ Oh my god this is so so sos os os sos os os so sososososos amasssoxng! Ahgj wrods aernt formnig anymare n mi haed ah mi gaod.

"Yes, right now. Now get going and just follow me." Then he blasts off and I jump, preparing to do long swings, but then Mr. Stark just flies downwards and lands on the sidewalk, causing a few people to shriek.

I land beside him, and ask, "Why did we stop?"

His suit recedes into his ark reactor, climbing over themselves and then when I look away from the cyan light, his suit is gone. "Whoa, that's so cool! _**(Says something sciency about how it works bc I'm not sure how it does)**_!"

Mr. Stark looks at me increduously as he opens the door to a car. So that's why we landed here. He gets in and after a look of impatience from him, I start and hop in after.

"So you're a science person?" He asks. The car starts up and I look through the passenger seats to see who's driving, or if anyone is at all. But the black wall has been put up.

I look back at him and struggle to put on my seatbelt. "Yeah... Yeah..." I trail off when the stupid seatbelt won't work and it isn't clicking. After a few more seconds of my embarrassment growing that Mr. Stark is watching me fail to put on a seatbelt, he says,

"Do you want- do- what me to do it?" He's obviously growing impatient and I just hand him the strap, and he slides it into the lock, it clicking perfectly in place. 

My face goes even redder. _You idiot you couldn't even put in a seatbelt!_ I scold myself. Normally I'd punch my arm for messing up like that, but since he's here and he'd see it I just pinch my thigh.

"I'm sorry just I'm not used to- to cars..." I stammer. He tilts his head at my statement.

"You don't drive in cars very often?"

"Well I live in an orphanage and I usually walk to school if I miss the subway, so no, I don't usually drive in cars anymore," I explain, stuttering on a few words from my nerves. 

He furrows his brow.

"You're an orphan?"

"Y-yeah."

Well actually aunt May is in the hospital, and she can't take care of me so I live there.

His mouth pinches. "Oh." Then his eyes widen. 'Wait you're under 18!?" When I nod slowly he runs a hand through his hair. "Oh god I'm asking a child to fight Captain America."

I perk up. "Wait we're fighting Captain America? Cool! Wait, not cool--"

"No, _I_ am fighting Captain America. _You,_ are going to go back to your parents- ORPHANAGE! and not worry about anything, or tell anyone or follow me, because if you do I will never ask for your help if I need it. So go straight home. _Got it?"_

I look down and pout, not replying. He seems to get it.

"Good." Mr. Stark clears his throat and taps on the black wall. "Hey Hap mind just stopping here, I'm gonna let the kid out."

Then the wall rolls down and the person who must be the driver, and 'Hap', turns around to look at us over his shoulder, irritation plain as day on his face. "Are you serious? We drove all this way and you're just gonna let him out?--"

"Yeah I know but he's underage and I can't have that on my conscience, bringing a 12 year old into battle."

"Actually I'm 15--"

"Shh the adults are talking. Now get out, and if I find out you're going to follow me and help anyways, you are in big trouble. Now go back to being friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, don't tell anyone what you just experienced, and leave this matter in the hands of the Avengers."

Then he shifts and looks at the seat in front of him, ready to leave and waiting for me to get out. When I don't, he looks back at me and sighs in exasperation. "Kid, I'm not taking you to battle. Now go."

I'm so going to regret this. I take of my mask. "Please Mr. Stark?"

He searches my face. "You look familiar. Why do you look familiar. Also revealing your identity to the person that announced live on the news 'I am Iron Man' is not the best course of action, but okay."

"Mr. Stark, I can help, please--"

"See by now you should have gotten out of my car and swung away on your pink ropes or whatever, and I should have been off to fight a war criminal and one of my friends. But it hasn't happened. Why hasn't it happened?"

Happy, who has been watching us talk the whole time and stayed silent, looks at Mr. Stark and says, "Tony, maybe taking this kid is a good idea after all, we need all the help we can get." I'm surprised, since this man doesn't seem like the type of person to defend me, or anyone for that matter.

Mr. Stark looks at him for a few seconds, then back at me quickly where I put on puppy eyes and plead with my face, then he looks back at the man. "Is that what you think? You think we should do that even though he's a minor?" He asks.

"We need all the help we can get, and there aren't many other options outside of S.H.I.E.L.D left." 'Hap' says. I still don't know what 'S.H.I.E.L.D' is. Maybe since we're fighting Captain America that's what he named his group or whatever? Like his team? Do we get to do that?

Mr. Stark is quiet for a few moments, thinking it over.

"Okay." He says and my eyes widen. I grin.

"Really! That's great thanks Mr. Stark! oh god this is awesome!" I exclaim and he lets out a sigh, biting his lip. then he chuckles.

"You're welcome kid."

He leans back in the seat, and I try and copy him, a bit stiffly, since I'm still not sure what's going on. 

Mr. Stark must have seen the confusion and awkwardness in my face, so he takes of his sunglasses and sighs again. He does that a lot. When he takes them off I see the bruising around his eye and the cut below it. Did Captain America do that?

"Since you are coming though, I'm setting down some ground rules. One, if you pass out you go straight home. Two, if I tell you to go straight home, _you go straight home._ Three,... we're going to be fighting some of the Avengers. That means you'll be going up against trained fighters. Now some things I can't... get into full detail about because it would put you at risk and potentially lead you to a max security cell in a S.H.I.E.L.D base. So I'll only explain the basics. Captain America, the Falcon, Wanda Maximoff, The Winter Soldier..."

He lists all the names I will be fighting against. In my head I scream at myself to pay attention, because I don't want to start fighting the wrong person, but I can't stop thinking about why we would need to fight them, and what the secret details he cannot tell me are. Has Captain America gone rogue? Is this like a Red Kryptonite situation?

But I'm also thinking... _Holy shit I get to meet captain America and the Avengers!_ This is going to be awesome!

**_....Time skip...._ **

*Recording*

"Hey guys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not going to write the airport fight scene, but it did happen. You know the part where the tower crashes and Natasha 'Betrays' T'challa? Well that didn't happen. Bucky & Steve came to an agreement and the next Chapter is at the tower.


	2. Gonna

Waiting for Mr. Stark is not fun.

I'm not sure if he does it purposely, but he's been in the board meeting for hours, or whatever he and the suit people are doing in there, they're taking too long. And I know Mr. Stark told me to go home and get changed then come back if I wanted, but I didn't think it would have been such a big deal, and the meeting would only take like 30 minutes. And even when I thought that, I figured I could handle 30 minutes, but I could barely wait for 15. And now it's been 3 hours, and I'm afraid if I leave quickly to get changed he might come out at that exact moment.

So I wait, bouncing my leg and reading all the little signs, like 'Board meeting in process'. That's it. That's the only sign.

And I don't have my phone, since... well my suit new suit doesn't have any pockets, which I think should change, since, well, I kinda need a place to put my phone. It's like wearing womens clothing.

Plus, a phone in a battle... Not a good choice.

So for the past 3 hours, I've been shifting my positions, occasionally dropping to the floor, but mostly just chilling on the ceiling, my favourite place.

And, of course, my _favourite_ activity, is talking to the body guards who are stationed by the door, dressed in black with their hands in front of them. Some of the things we all do together is I annoy them and try to make them laugh, failing miserably, while they sit there in stony silence. Sometimes I'm just pacing on the ceiling back and forth while I vent to them about all the _huge_ problems in my life. Like:

"...And the bees pollinate and all, but what about the butterflies? _What about them?_ You know, I had a friend once -well not exactly a friend, He was just in my class, I knew him- And he'd catch butterflies, freeze them, and then when they unfreezed -unfroze, sorry excuse my bad grammar- they'd wake up and he'd have butterflies in his house! He'd also sell them at school and people went nuts for them until the principal had to shut him down because he made something like 300 dollars on them and a lot of the kids' parents at school were complaining their kids had no money left and they had wakened -sorry, woke- up at night to have butterflies on their nose, which I find hilarious--"

Suddenly the door opens and a man with white hair and mostly the same skin tone steps out with a dark grey suit. He looks up and sees me chilling on the ceiling. I feel kind of awkward.

"Hi, I'm Spider-man... It's um, It's nice to meet you...I'd offer you my hand to shake but... well, I'm upside down, so..." I say.

Before he can answer he gets 'gently assisted to the side with hands' as some more bodyguards- *GASP* AVENGERS! Oh. My. God. Like, I saw them in the battle, but seeing them now, like this, when half of them aren't trying to 'kill' me...

_amazing._

"I can't breathe." I whisper. I hear a chuckle but I don't know who it is. "I need to breathe. Holy nuggets. And I've fallen." I fell.

I'm brought back to reality by the bruises that are caused by falling to the ground, and I scramble to my feet, apologizing to _Black Widow,_ That walked out, and after her it's Vision, who remains a neutral and unmoving face, while Black Widow glances at me and studies me, a slight frown on her face. Then after hesitating mid-room, she comes over to me.

With a deeper frown, she crosses her arms. "How old are you?"

She must have been inquired to ask that question because of my voice and height, which isn't very nice, but I am short, so I guess it's fine.

"I'm 15 Miss Black Widow." I say, and thankfully this time I don't stutter. She doesn't seem happy by my answer.

"Where are you from?"

"I'm from um, Queens."

"Do you live with your parents?"

My uncomfy is starting to show. "N-no..."

"How did you get the powers?" She's obviously trying to get information she thinks I won't give to team S.H.I.E.L.D later on. I don't really understand, so I try and reassure her instead.

"I'll be giving team Shield the information- most of it- they want later," I say.

"What if you don't give any of the info? Maybe it's all wrong." She wants to know what my response is to that, she isn't just thinking out loud. So again, I try and reassure her, saying what I hope will get her to trust me, because since we were on the same team (Team Awesome- I made up the name-) I want her to be my friend. Or something like that.

"Well... I'm not sure about that, but if I don't want team Shield to have some facts about me that make me uncomfy I'll just hack into their system and delete it and all that."

Her eyes go wide and before she can say anything further, Mr. Stark walks out, spots me and speaks. "Spider! Hey kid, how are ya? Is Nat interrogating you?" He gives Miss Nat a side look. "Don't worry Miss Romanoff, he's coming to the upper part of the tower later, so he can explain it all then."

She turns gracefully to him, reminding me of like a cat, but not a cat, because she's a badass woman who's totally about to manipulate Mr. Stark, and I kind of want to see that. She puts on a smile. "Tony Stark, so nice of you to fill me in for once. Also, I was under the impression that minors, especially ones that are only 15, are not allowed to be in a battle with war criminals, let alone Avengers. And once I get out of my blood-stained suit, that has some of _his blood on it_ from that time in the jet I had to stitch up his side because he could have _died..._ you are going to explain yourself and your actions and this kid-" She looks at me, "-Is also going to do some explaining. You got that?" Before he answers she speaks again. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to my room." And she leaves without another word.

_That was awesome._

"Mr. Stark am I really staying?" I ask. _No, no I couldn't, because they don't want me here, they don't--_

"Well we don't want you going back to the orphanage covered in blood and your injuries not treated, even if they are minor, so yes, you are. Now follow me before Pirate finds us." He walks out and I follow, wondering who Pirate, or _what_ Pirate is. Well, we just fought Captain America, who -from what I'm guessing, Mr. Stark hasn't really clues me in yet- named his team 'shield', which is sort of funny. So I guess having Mr. Stark say something called 'Pirate' is trying to find us isn't that unusual. Maybe Pirate is another team. I decide to ask.

"Mr. Stark?"

He glances back. "Don't call me 'Mr. Stark', call me Tony." He says and I cringe.

"Mr. Tony Stark Iron Man Sir, I can't call you just that, it'd be rude." I say truthfully, which earns a chuckle from Mr. Stark.

"Alright, you can call me Mr. Stark for now. What did you want to ask?"

I have to do a little jog to catch up with him, looking at the ground and using my hands as I start to talk. "Right, um I wanted to ask, why was Captain America fighting us, and who was that guy with the metal arm? Also what team- I mean what's Pirate, and did you comment at least _once_ on Mr. America naming his team 'Shield'? Maybe we should have named ours Iro--"

Mr. Stark stops suddenly and turns to me. "Hold up, that's a lot of questions. I'll one at a time, not fifty at a time. So start from the beginning." He looks at me expectantly.

"Right right yeah, sorry, um first I guess I'll ask why we had to fight half the Avengers." 

He takes a deep breath and thinks about it for a few seconds, then slowly sighing and resuming our walk to the elevator, but slower. "We had to fight him because..."

It's then I realize we're headed into the elevator. _Keep calm, don't make a fool out of yourself, it's just silly fears._ As we enter I strain my ears to focus on his words.

"...Disagreement, and he was trying to help a rogue, also his friend, James Buchanan Barnes, AKA..."

We step in and I back into a corner, holding onto the metal rail for dear life as Mr. Stark pauses to press the number 99. 

"...And refused to sign the accords, and became a threat, and as you know we tried talking to him but he wouldn't listen and insisted on protecting Barnes, who is a criminal and has murdered countless agents," 

He takes a breath and I squeeze my eyes shut, and I can't really hear him because not only is my head pounding from the elevator but we're in a small space, and I hate it, I _hate it._ I'm very claustrophobic, and this ride is longer than I expected. I'm sure Mr. Stark thinks I'm a coward and a loser now, and I'm trying, I really am, to open my eyes and get my breathing under control, but I just _can't._

And this has never happened before, usually I can keep my anxiety and fears shoved down long enough, but what happens after battles is all that adrenaline and fear that got shoved down, and if I was scared and hurt, it all got pushed aside, and saved for later, and now is later.

This is the aftereffects of the battle, and I should have remembered. I'm such an idiot.

And right now I'm trapped, and Mr. Stark is with me, and he's asking me if I'm alright which means he's noticed, and I can't feel my hands and forearms from how tight I'm gripping the rail.

"Almost there bud, just hang in there alright. Almost there." 

And then the doors open and I fling myself out of them, running into the middle of a room where I try and keep my sobs in that choke me. Tears threaten to spill and I whip off my mask, hugging myself and spinning to look for Mr. Stark, who has his hands up and approaching cautiously like I might hurt him.

His eyes flick over to the couch behind me, and I turn around, met with the stares of Black Widow, Vision, the Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, and the King of Wakanda.

>>>>>>><<<<<<

**_Before Peter came in_ **

Wanda frowns at Natashas statement. "I'm still very confused, what do you mean?"

"What do you mean do do do do yeah..." Clint faded off as Nat gave him a glare to stop singing. He couldn't help himself, the song came into his head and he loved Justin Beiber (who everyone thought was trash).

"You asked him where he was from, did you learn anything else?" Wanda asks, ignoring Clint, which is normal.

"Yes, but I won..." She stops talking when the elevator doors open, something she's learned is beneficial for keeping secrets between those who she chooses to share with.

But instead of anything they would have expected, Spider-Man busts through the doors and into the room. He fumbles at his head and slips off his mask, revealing a very young teenage face with red eyes like he'd been crying, and his arms are wrapped around himself.

Tony puts his hands up, and then glances over at us, which Peter saw, and whipped around to see the ones seated in the couch area staring at them. Peter mouth drops and his eyes widen.

It's an awkward silence for a good 5 seconds, until Tony steps forwards, wincing at the situation. "Everyone say hi to Spider-Man."

They just stared at Peter. Peter stared back. Everyone was staring. *sassy old person voice* 'didn't your parents tell you staring is rude?' Peter: I never had parents. Peter: BAM!

okay okay sorry for that, just pretend you didn't read it.

"So..." Tony starts, breaking the awkward silence yet again. "Um, Peter, meet the Avengers, Avengers, meet Peter... AKA Spider-Man..."

You could have heard a pin drop from the silence after that. And everyone was stunned into silence until one person spoke. And that one person was Pietro. He frowned. "But he's so... small. Smol bean. He's toddler."

Peter was still staring at them in open-mouth shock, and Tony just sighed and went to the kitchen.

"You're meaning to tell me that this is Spider-Man?" Clint asked, looking at Tony with a disbelieving look. Peter didn't even know he was here. In fact, Peter only just realized he was on the couch, because he was covered in blankets so much all you could see was his face.

"Yeah," Is all Tony said.

Peter, who was a mix of feeling excited from meeting the Avengers, tired from the battle, and a bit overwhelmed, was starting to get a pounding headache. He was so thirsty. And hungry. And he just wanted to sleep. Not to mention the elevator ride has fucked up his heart since it's beating a mile a minute- which isn't normal even for him, who's heart usually beats faster from his powers. 

[A/N] (I actually did some research, and where Spiders hearts can beat from 9-125 beats per minute, humans' hearts beat 50-99, so because Peter has the DNA of part-Spider, his heart would beat faster, and it can cause lightheadedness and lack of oxygen to his brain, and his heart is beating really fast at the moment, so that is a reason why he's so dizzy).

His eyes started to shut, and he blocked everyone out, hoping this is just a moment, and it will be better in a few seconds like a headrush from standing up too fast. But it didn't, and in fact, it got worse; The floor seemed to sway under his feet and every breath he took was sharp and painful in his chest and throat. 

"Water," He croaked. Not a second later a cold glass was pressed into his palm, and he opened his eyes to say, "Thank you." To Tony, who gave him it and had a hand on his back for support.

While he took a sip -immediatly feeling better; the water cleared his throat and helped his pounding head- Tony turned to adress the seated Superheroes. 

"I think Peter needs some rest, he's had a long day just like the rest of us." Then he looked at Peter, who held the glass of water to his forehead, a soothing method he's discovered in his sensory overload spells (That one actually works, trust me).

"come on." With a hand still on his back, Tony leads Peter into a guest room, and then gets a pair of Hello kitty pajama pants from the closet full of clothes that the Avengers sometimes wear after a mission, and a giant shirt that says 'I survived my trip to N.Y.C'. Then grabs an S.I sweater and heads back into the guest room. When he opens the door, Peter is already asleep in the bed, so Tony just puts the clothes on the middle of the floor where Peter will see them, and shuts the door. 

**_^^ (^^means flashback)_ **

"Come on Peter! You're gonna be late!" 

Despite her rushed tone, I have a warm feeling in my chest when Aunt May calls me, reminding me I'm going to be late for school. 

"Coming May!" I yell, and finish the last math question, then at lightning speed stuff my homework into my bag. I hear her coming to my room so she probably didn't hear me when I yelled over to her.

When I turn around, she's standing at the door to my room, dressed and a small smile playing on her lips. I smile back and kiss her cheek, then brush past her. When I walk into the living room I spot the toast and water bottle on the kitchen table, set out for me. While I walk over to it, I ask, "How long are you going to be gone for Chemo today?"

"I'll be back around 10, then I have to go to another appointment at 1 until 2, and then I'm free. But I also have to do shopping," She answers, and I see her putting on her coat at the front door over the toast sticking out of my mouth.

I frown for a moment. "What's the extra appointment, I thought you only had one because it's Thursday."

"Haircut."

"Oh. Do you leave early on Sunday again?" I ask and zip up my backpack.

"Yep, I'm gonna be gone before you wake up, and be back around 2, so you're going to have to stay at Neds or something, maybe finish some homework or Patrol."

"That sucks, I won't see you on Saturday morning either because it's sleepover night."

"I know honey, I'm sorry but I have to go." She said in an apologetic voice, which made Peter feel guilty for complaining.

"It's okay."

"I'm sorry we can't spend more time together. Also, you have jam on your cheek."

I wipe it off with a grateful but small smile. "Thanks. Anything else on my face?" She stops putting on her shoes and looks at me a second, then shakes her head.

"Nope. Me?"

"No, beautiful as ever."

She laughs at that and grabs her purse. "I love you, see you after school." She comes over and kisses my head quickly, and then opens the door. "Bye."

"bye."

**_^^ (end of flashback)_ **

It takes a few minutes for Peter to get out of bed after that.

He stared at the stipple ceiling, thinking of May, and how he's going to visit her later today after dealing with Tony, and the Avengers and everyone who wants to ask him a million questions, which right now he is not in the mindset to do. So instead of leaving the bed where he'll have to face the day, he rolls onto his side, snuggles deeper into the blankets, and shut his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the gentle sunlight that is shining through the windows. It must be morning, so he's slept for at least 8 hours. And the soft silence lulls him into sleep again.

 ** _......_** **_Time skip to after he wakes up- again ....._**

Peter stared at the clothes. Mr. Stark must be joking.

No, he isn't talking about the pink hello kitty pajamas and how they're pink -That's actually his favourite colour, so no complaint there. 

It's the S.I sweater. he's about to wear an S.I sweater. And it isn't the ones they sell at stores, it's the one of the types only employees and high-up interns get, the one Tony Stark has. And Peter Parker is about to wear it, and it's blowing his mind.

After he woke up the second time, he was in a more conscious state of mind, and was relieved to discover his headache was gone completely, and his limbs weren't heavy and tired. He felt better; He felt happy.

So once he was showered and changed into the clothes Tony had set out for him -which were so much more comfortable than the suit-, he slowly opened the door to and peeked in the hall.

There was something home-y about the tower in the mornings, a nice type of quiet and calm that was only amplified by the relaxing wall colour -a creamy beige that was grasped as tranquil and like a warm sun that was glowing through the windows- and absorbing carpets, that were as soft as the blankets strewn around the seating area. 

It was peaceful, and Peter liked it. It wasn't like the loud and creaking, dark wooden orphanage, where mornings were associated with rushing to school, doing put-aside homework and banging of pots; here, all he felt like doing in the morning at this place was lie down on his stomach where the patch of golden sun rests underneath the windows. And he does just that, walking to under the glass window, lying down and resting his left cheek on his knuckles and the front-side of his body flush against the beige fluffy carpet. 

And he stayed there with his eyes closed, pushing out intrusive thoughts and forgetting how stressing the day before was. All there was in that moment was warmth and a full-body content he hadn't felt in a long time.

.......

Natasha was walking down the hall, her mind still adjusting to being awake, until she spotted Peter. He was still in the sun-patch, his face partly hidden by brown hair and his hands, but she could still make out how his face was calm and still, and since he hadn't opened his eyes yet, she assumed he was asleep.

And even though, yes, she is an assassin and should not be in love with this boy, she can't help but smile softly while looking upon him. And even though, yes, she is the Black Widow and should not get too attatched with him just in case, she can't help but also feeling fondness like she has never felt before, a protective type of love where she would risk her life to make sure this boy is safe. And it scares her.

But looking at him, his brown mop of curls coloured golden from the sun, and how he looks adorable in Hello Kitty pajamas, it is impossible for her to admit to herself that she is not already caring for him. 

With one last smile, she turns around and quietly goes to the kitchen, her light tread not disturbing the silence, where she hopes to find someone, preferably Tony, to bring them to where Peter is. And when she enters the doorway, the only ones there are Tony, Pepper and Wanda, all of them sipping morning drinks on the couch or stools from of mugs.

"Hey," She whispers, loud enough for them to hear. They turn around and the first thing they notice is the small smile on her face. Natasha beckons them. "Come with me."

She brings them to the place Peter is, and once they see him they've all got smiles of their own on their faces.

"Friday," Tony whispers, careful not to wake Peter. "Take a picture."

"Already done, sir." She mimics his quiet voice.

"Do we just leave him here?" Wanda asks.

"We don't want to bring him to the couch and accidentally wake him up," Pepper says, and the others silently agree.

"I have an idea," Tony says.

And that is how Peter woke up to find himself sleeping on the floor with Natasha, Tony, Wanda, and some of the other Avengers who came later all sitting down or lying in the hallway with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help me


	3. Give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME SKIP  
> Peter now calls Tony 'dad' and Pepper 'mum' or 'mom'.  
> May Parker has Terminal cancer  
> .  
> I cried a bit writing this.

**_3rd person POV_ **

**_"_** Please, you can't take her off support, just one more year, one more month, please," he begged. 

The nurse, Lucy, who was close to tears from giving the sad news her diagnosed ex-coworker would be taken off life support. And she had to give it to Peter, who every doctor and nurse or staff in the hospital loved. He voice broke, "I'm so so sorry Peter, it's... she's never going to get better, and we've already extended her limit to another few months, we can't do it again. I'm sorry."

Peter's face twisted and he started crying harder. He would have fought with the nurse, hell, he'd would've fought with the whole health care system to keep his aunt alive. But it was useless, he knew it, and still resented it. And knowing it was right, and still fighting, possibly ending other patients lives that could've been recovered if he fought in vain would just kill him. So Peter wiped at his face and nodded, turning around, his shoulders brought up to his ears. He faintly heard Lucy say "I'm sorry" again, but didn't act like he heard it. He just headed out of the hospital, ignoring the looks of sympathy everyone gave him when they saw a crying boy exiting a hospital and walked out, feeling numb from the world. He forgot about the cars in the street as he crossed it. He forgot about the people shouting and staring. He forgot about the black car Happy was in at the front and how Happy was shouting at him. He forgot about his dad, who was in the bathroom as the nurse sought him out.

Everything in the world disappeared on that walk home, and the only thing that stopped Peter from accidentally walking onto a deserted street road, right in front of a bus, was a grip on his shoulder that spin him around. Peter turned effortlessly around and looked at the persons shirt numbly, ready to walk away with an apology before they spoke.

"Hey, kid."

He suddenly knew who it was and jumped into Tony's arms, sobbing into his shoulder and Tony in a second had his arms around the boy, holding him tight as he cried into his shirt. When tony came out of the bathroom and saw Peter had disappeared, he asked the nurse where he went and she said he left after being told his aunt was going to be off life support in 48 hours. And when he went out and saw Happy, he was informed Peter left without a word to him or anything; So he knew why Peter was sobbing at the moment.

"I'm s-sor-ry D-ad fo-r lea-ving w-with-out y-you," Peter Said between sobs. Tony began to pick Peter up when their car pulled up to the side and Happy rolled down the window, breaking his normal annoyed expression for a concerned one. Peter had the man in a death grip around his ribs and continued crying into Tony's chest while he was picked up bridal-style and brought to the car. With Peter sitting on his lap, Tony Stark sat on the seat and rubbed the boys back, shutting the door behind him. With a simple shake of his head, Happy nodded and refrained from asking his million questions, sliding up the black wall between them and him.

The whole ride to the tower, Peter was held by Tony as he explained what happened with the nurse and apologized over and over for leaving him.

"It Alright Pete. It's going to be okay," he whispered and started to rock the boy gently, something he learned helped Peter calm down over the time he knew him. Peter relaxed the slightest, and from that action felt safer in his dads arms.

He soon felt sleepy, the exhausting and day full of stress and bad news, not to mention dealing with school was wearing him down and after another thirty seconds Peter was asleep, still cradled in Tony's arms. The older man was very protective of him, with all that's happened how couldn't he? And when Peter was sad, he did everything in his power to cheer him up, because when Peter bleeds, he does too.

Happy brought them to the tower, since when the boy woke up and would want to visit his aunt he'd be closer instead of an hour drive to the mansion. Tony waited for Happy to open the door before sliding out, readjusting his grip on Peter and heading into the towers lobby and into the elevator, careful not to wake him up (or drop him). The only one surprised person instead of worried at the sight of the billionaire Tony Stark holding the sleeping Peter (who'd obviously been crying) in his arms was the new guard, Daniel; every worker, intern, staff, tour guide or guard inside the tower had to sign an NDA saying the wouldn't leak anything they found out, and in bold letters on the paper, that it included leaking anything on Tony's son, or the fact Peter wasn't just an intern. Daniel got quick looks of reassurance that this was absolutely normal by his coworkers, who mumbled they'd explain later. 

In the ride up, Peter woke up and was not at all fazed at Tony carrying him; it seemed to be a normal thing with them. And even though he was super comfortable, he insisted that Tony Put him down so he could stand in his own. Of course, by standing on his own, that meant snuggling into Tony's side as the billionaire wrapped and arm around the boys shoulders, kissing his head, letting Peter know ' _I'm here._ ' As a reassurance.

The thought aunt May was going to die in two days made Peter start to cry again, sniffling while the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Tony held Peter while they walked into the Penthouse floor, muttering affirmation nothings into his ear, like ' _it's going to be alright'_ and _'you're gonna be okay._ '

Tony led him to the couch where Peter instantly flung himself into his arms, sobbing into Tony's chest as the older man rubbed Peters back and squeezed him in a hug, running hands through Peters hair, calming Peter and untangling the knots. It was one of the actions Tony recognized as a soothing method with the boy, alongside rocking and physical contact.

"I'm s-sorry," Peter Said.

"For what?" Tony said softly. Peter was quiet and sniffed, the crying stopped.

"I'm... don't know... just, everything."

Tony sighed. "Kid, you know none of this is your fault."

"I know," he said doubtfully. "But... I-I coulda done more. I could-should have been with her all day instead of just for four hours... been with her longer.... and now, she's going- she's going to be gone, a-nd I wo-n't eve-r see her ag-ain!" His voice got wobbly. Tony waited for him to quiet down again before speaking.

"Kid, I think you did everything. You..." he sighed. "You visited her every day, no matter if it was raining bullets, cows, elephants.... you saw her every day, and let me tell you, every time you walked into her room, her face lit up like a Christmas light-up snowman. She loved you, and if you... asked her, she would say the same I am. You have been a great nephew. You took care of her better than the hospital. You spent your time with her... phenomenally, And May, she loved every second of it. Every microsecond. What's about to happen... has been established information for a while, but that doesn't mean you- neither of us want it to happen. May was a great aunt, and it will be devastating to see her go; but we also have to remember she'll be put to peace, and end her suffering of her fight with cancer. So... tomorrow, I'm going to call your school, and tell them you will be absent tomorrow, and the next day. I will stay with you in that hospital, outside or in the room, whatever you want, all day, if that's what you'd like to do. And the next day can be the same." He paused.

"I'll bring the nail polish so you can paint her nails again," he said with an attempting smile. Peter's face produced a tiny, weak one that was sort of forced.

"Yeah."

"Yeah? Okay!" He felt infinitely better that Peter was smiling, even if it was just at the small humour. "But... I think for tonight, you should get some rest. If you want... do you want me to call the others that aren't in the mission?" He offered. Peter hesitates, then shakes his head no. "Mmkay. Do you wanna go in your room or stay here in the couch and watch a movie?"

Peter looks at up from his knees. Somehow, during all the talking, Peter pulled away from the hug, and is sitting beside him, leaning into the older mans side. "Movie."

"Okay." He wavered for a moment. "Do you want snacks?" Normally Peter'd be over the moon at the mention of snacks, since he's always hungry and has a sweet tooth. But today he quietly shakes his head, and Tony doesn't question it. "Alright. What movie?"

"Harry Potter n' the Goblet of Fire".

He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, keeping one arm wrapped around Peter. Even though it was only 7, Peter felt tired, probably from the exhaustion today and leftover sleepiness from when he took a nap in Tony's arms earlier. Once he pressed play, there was a light pressure on his shoulder, and he didn't have to turn his head to know Peter was asleep. Soon after, Tony followed, the remote dangling from his hand loosely and the movie playing with no one to watch it.   
  


.......  
  


"Clint..."

"I'm just saying, I think Bucky and Steve are dating."

Everyone in the elevator stared at him.

"What?"

"Does this mean _anything_ to you?" Steve said, holding up his left hand that had Bucky's in it. Clint gasped.

"So it's TRUE!"

"Dude... we've been dating for four months."

"....oh."

"God, you're such an idiot," muttered Nat as the doors to the elevator opened.

"Am not!"

"That just proves how childish you are!"

"Hey you said idiot not childish."

"Guys!" Whispered Steve. "Look."

They followed his pointed hand to see Peter and Tony sleeping on the couch together, Tony's arm wrapped around the boy and Peters head on his shoulder, leaning into him. Clint made an 'awww' sound.

"They're so cute!" He said, pouting at the cuteness. "Why does he get to be Peters dad?"

"Quiet!" Hissed Nat. "If any of you wake up Peter I will have your eyeballs as fairy lights for your daughter!"

Clint gulped. "Yes. Sorry."

They tip-toed to the kitchen, still whispering since the Space was open with no walls but some glass ones, giving plenty of chances for a loud voice to wake someone up.

"Guys, What will happen when his aunt dies?" Bucky Asked. They all averted their eyes.

"Buck..."

Bucky turned to Steve. "What? We need to talk about it sometime, why not now? The kids asleep. We can talk."

"Let's just..." Nat sighed. "Let's just wait for Tony to wake up. He'll hate us for talking without him."

"Like The schoolgirl he is," muttered Clint. Natasha shot him a glare.

"Guys I'm serious. We should wait for him to wake up. Or... how about we just talk to him tomorrow. Or the next day. We have time. But the end of the week is when we should definitely set the boys future arrangements in check, and decide whether we all have legal custody or just Tony and Pepper."

"So we- or they- _are_ adopting him," Steve said. "Has it been discussed with Peter? Because I think we should give him the choice of what his guardianship would be like. Or if he chooses an orphanage or foster home or... whatever." He waves a hand.

"I agree." Said Bucky.

"Same."

"Same."

"But." Nat said with her eyebrows raised, looking at each of the three in turn. "If he does choose the option of being put under the government's protection, such as foster care or orphanage, we should still accept him. Always."

"Of course. He's our little baby," Clint Said, glancing at Peter. The others followed in suit.

"Our little Spider-Baby," they say.

_**< ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>** _

The next morning, Peter and Tony were at the hospital the earliest they could, even though Tony had insisted Peter had at least a granola bar for breakfast.

"I can't eat! I need to see aunt May now, there's no time for breakfast!" Peter said in a rush, chucking on a sweater since it was kinda cold outside. "Now are you coming or not?"

When Peter left his room Tony followed, needing to jog to keep in stride with the boy.

The drive to the hospital was mostly Peters leg bouncing uncontrollably and Tony making attempts at a conversation, but being shut down every time Peter answered with one word.

So then they drove in silence, and when he pulled up to the hospital, Peter was out before Tony even parked the car, and was running up the all-too familiar steps.

Tony followed and opened the doors Peter had just ran into. He meets him at the front desk where he needs to be signed in and given a lanyard saying that they're visitors and not a patient, worker or terrorist.

When they got their things, Tony looked down at Peter. "Do you want me to stay here or come with you into the room."

Peters calf was burning from tensing and un-tensing it, something that directed his focus and a substitute for his leg bouncing. He glanced around the waiting room. "Uh can you stay here for a while? And I'll just text you if I need you? Or May?" His throat was a bit dry and his voice sounded uncertain and not very confident.

Tony gave him a smile and patted his shoulder for a moment. "Of course Pete. If you need me I'm here."

Peter nodded and hugged his dad, then left, half running half walking down the hospital halls, turning the familiar corridors and finally ending up at Mays room. He shut the door quietly behind him so he would t wake her up. Then he took a seat and waited.

\------------------------------------------

_Beep..Beep..Beep.._

"Mmm"

"Aunt May, are you awake?" Peter whispered, not speaking too loudly so she wouldn't get waken up if not already.

"Peter?" She whispered hoarsely, her eyes fluttering the slightest.

He was instantly ready and eager to talk with his aunt, who barely spoke these days, only listened to Peter talk about school and Spider-Man and Tony Stark, since she usually couldn't salvage enough energy to lift an arm, not have a conversation. "Yes May? I'm here."

She was suddenly crying. "Peter," she sniffed and let out a little sob. "Peter, they said they were gonna take me off, didn't they."

Peter swallowed against the lump that threatened to choke him. "Yes, May." She let out a sob and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. Peter was crying too. "But it's okay, I'm here and we can spend th-the rest together if that's what you want."

Suddenly a hand was gripping his. May sniffed before speaking again. "H-How long?"

"30 hours." He looked down.

May breathed in a sob. "Peter?"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared." She squeaked. Peter hugged her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, crying into his neck. Pete could feel her shaking.

"It's okay, May, I'm here, we've still got time, we can be together for the remaining hours, I know you're scared, and I'm here to help, I promise I won't leave, we can do whatever you want, it will be okay, you'r-you're go-nna b-be okay M-May I Pr-promise..." He mumbled all those things to her, trying to calm her, but just made himself sob more, which led May to get even more scared.

Because how couldn't she be? She was about to die in 30 hours and nothing either of them could do or say could change it. She is told when she will die. She _knows._ Just... think about that for a second.

"I'm sorry May." Peter Said and pulled back, wiping at his face and sniffing. "I came here to make you feel better and visit you and I made us cry. I'm sorry." He swallows. "I uh, I brought nail polish."

Mays face lights up, just like how Tony described it. "You're too good for me Peter. Thank you. So much. You've been... an incredible nephew, and I couldn't have gotten all that I have and all these happy mem-memories if-If you weren't I-in my life, and I l-love you so so much." She took in a shaky breath and smiled at him. "Th-thank you for everything."

Peter can't swallow. He physically can't. "You're- we still have hours May, we- we don't need to be saying our goodbyes just yet." He reached into his bag, wiping his face again. "Here. I noticed the paint from last week is peeling, so I brought a new colour. It's yellow. Your favourite." He handed the nail polish to her as he got out the polish remover and Kleenex's. She looked at the colour and read the things on it, smiling.

"I love it. Thank you Peter."

Peter glances up and copied her weak smile, then pulled out the remover and started getting to work. About halfway through the first hand, May said, "do you have any new stories?"

It was something they did to pass the time while she was there, tell stories to each other and about their day. Most of the time, Peter was the one who talked and May listened, and the times May talked, Peter have all his attention to her. Sometimes he also told her made-up stories, like about a kingdom of snowmen or one about a nice goblin named Sean that just wanted to fit in.

"I don't... but I can make another one up for you. What genre?" He offered, moving into the next nail. She thought about it for a second.

"Sci-fi romance."

So Peter launches into a story about a man named Thomas who fell in love with an astronaut named Daniel who left for space and never came back.

——-

May died the next day, and in her last moments before they pulled the plug, she was with Peter, promising to say hi to everyone for him, and that she loves him, and will always love him.

Before the doctors cut off her life support, she recited lines she'd memorized from her months living in the hospital, what Peter would read aloud to her almost every week, because it was her favourite book.

.

 _Once there was a tree..._  
_And she loved a little boy..._  
_And every day the boy would come..._  
_And he would gather her leaves..._  
_And make them into crowns and play king of the forest_  
_He would climb up her trunk_  
_And swing from her branches_  
_And eat apples_  
_And they would play hide and go seek_  
_And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade._  
_And the boy loved the tree..._  
_...Very much_  
_._  
_And the tree was happy._  
_._  
_But time went by._  
_And the boy grew older._  
_And the tree was often alone._  
_Then one day the boy came to the tree and the tree said: "Come, boy, come and climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy."_  
_"I am too big to climb and play." Said the boy. "I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money. Can you give me some money?"_  
_"I'm sorry," Said the tree, "But I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and then you will be happy."_  
_And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away._  
.  
_And the tree was happy..._  
.  
_But the boy stayed away for a long time... and the tree was sad._  
_And then one day the boy came back and the tree shock with joy and she said, "Come, boy, climb up my trunk and swing from my branches and be happy."_  
_"I am too busy to climb trees." Said the boy. "I want a house to keep me warm," He said. "I want a wife and I want children, and so I need a house. Can you give me a house?"_  
_"I have no house," Said the tree. "The forest is my house, but you may cut off my branches and build a house. Then you will be happy."_  
_And so the boy cut off her branches and carried them away to build his house._  
.  
_And the tree was happy..._  
.  
_But the boy stayed away for a long time._  
_And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could barely speak. "Come, boy," She whispered. "come and play."_  
_"I am too old and sad to play," Said the boy. "I want a boat that will take me far away from here. Can you give me a boat?"_  
_"Cut down my trunk and make a boat," Said the tree. "Then you can sail away... and be happy."_  
_And so the boy cut down her trunk and made a boat and sailed away._  
.  
_And the tree was happy... but not really._  
.  
_And after a long time the boy came back again._  
_"I am sorry, boy," said the tree. "But I have nothing left to give you, My apples are gone"_  
_"My teeth are too weak for apples," said the boy._  
_"My branches are gone," said the tree. "You cannot swing on them"_  
_"I am too old to swing on branches," said the boy._  
_"My trunk is gone," said the tree. "You cannot climb"_  
_"I am too tired to climb," said the boy._  
_"I am sorry," sighed the tree. "I wish that I could give you something... But I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry..."_  
_"I don't need very much now," said the boy, "Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired."_  
_"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as she could, "well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."_  
_And the boy did._  
...  
_And the tree was happy._

_._

_._

_._

An hour before her death, May requested to talk to Tony about something, but Peter was too caught up with trying to keep it together for May to try and eavesdrop, and even if he wasn't crying, he knew it'd be rude. So while they spoke he agreed to leave for a few minutes.

And after 30 minutes of Peter crying onto May after the doctors cut her off life support, he finally let Tony carry him out of the hospital, with promises to May that he'd never forget her. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car was silent on the drive home.

Peter was staring numbly at the backseat, curled on his side as tears fell. He never blinked. Tony drove with a stony expression to his and Peppers mansion. He figured Peter would want to be alone, or not get smothered by the Avengers, who would definitely become too overprotective, and Tony would bet his entire company one of them would start to cry.

They slowed to a stop at a red streetlight and Peter shut his eyes. He thought of his aunt. Tried to recall images of her face from when he memorized her before she died. His eyes darted under his eyelids, tracing over the mental lines of May's face and taking in the picture his brain brought up to its fullest. She was smiling.

Tony regulary glanced through the rearview mirror to check on the boy, and each time he felt a pang of sadness. And guilt, for some reason. _This kid has no blood-related family left. He's had two of his parental figures die, in his arms or watching it._

once they pulled up to the outside of the large house, Peter's tears were dry and made his eyelashes stick together a bit. It was a good thing he didn't need to open them. He sat up in the seat with the side-door open and just reached his arms up, and got hoisted up onto Tony's back, who carried him all the way inside. Peter clung to him, focusing on the way he was swayed up and down from every step his dad took.

Pepper opened the door to them, and Peter slid off Tony's back, running to meet her and hug her. He threw his arms around her neck and she hugged him back, her heartbreaking for her Peter that was in pain. Tony and Pepper looked at each other from over Peters shoulder, having a silent share of sadness, then Pepper returned her attention to the spiderling, and they walked inside together.

She made him a cup of tea, which he slowly sipped, sitting in the silence that was their house that evening.

When he decided to go to sleep, Pepper and Tony were already in bed, after much worries and Peter telling them they can go to sleep and not worry about him.

Peter had decent days and bad days, and when he had the bad days, he would go to sleep with Pepper and Tony in their bed. And because today was a bad day, a horrible day, once Peter put his cup in the sink he crawled into their bed and fell asleep there, between his dad and mom.


	4. You

**_9 months later._ **

"Muuuuuum!"

"MUUuuum!"

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--"

"Yes Peter?"

"Hey mum have you seen my Positive and Negative science pun T-Shirt?"

"The one I have?"

"Yeah!"

"I think it's in the wash! You're gonna have to wear something else today, sorry sweetie."

" s' okay Ma, I can wear a sweater."

Peter dashes into his closet and begins skimming through his selection of tops, then when he doesn't find anything there, takes one that looked clean from the floor. He slips on a plain black shirt and decides he looks presentable enough. Then after a quick look in the mirror, he ran down the stairs and took a slight short-cut of jumping down the side and running the rest of the way to the kitchen counter, where Pepper was talking to someone on an eirpiece and Tony took small sips of his coffee, keeping his eyes closed.

Peter sees his chance. He uncaps the pen in his pocket (he was _always_ forgetting things, so he had to write them down somewhere, and the holographic notepad that Tony offered to approve as one of his next builds in the lab that could project from his watch got a 'no' from Peter) and draws a quick, blue smiley face on his neck.

Tony felt it and turned. "What did you do?" He slaps a hand to the back of his neck where the pen touched.

Peter grins and grabs a piece of already-buttered toast, avoiding the question. He takes another. And another. He has two in his mouth and three in his hands as he backs away towards the front door. "Bye! See you later, have a good day!" Then he leaves, while Tony furiously tries to see what he put on his neck, feeling around every spot for like a bump or something, then getting irritated when nothing seems unusual.

"Gah! That boy."

And he gave up, deciding it can't be that bad. And it was only at lunch when he got frustrated from interns snickering when they saw his neck, muttering "good one Pete."

He looks from his coffee to Pepper, who was just wrapping up a conversation with someone on the earpice. "Okay. Goodbye, thank you." Then she took it out of her ear and slammed it on the table, her face falling into her hands, letting out a sigh. "It's only 7:30 in the morning and I'm already tired."

He puts a rubbing hand on her arm. "You okay?"

'yeah," she sighs, rubbing her eyes.

"I don't think you are... Do you wanna talk?"

**_~~Peter 3rd person~~_ **

"Hiiiii Happyyyy!" Peter said as he slid into the car. Happy grumbled and rolled up the visor. Peter grinned. "Happy the grumpy cat!" he sang, even though no one could hear him.

And then Peter Parker perished.

.

"Alright class, before you leave, I have an announcement." The class groaned and sat back down, waiting for Mr. Harrison to hurry up and finish what he's about to say so they can get the _hell out of there._ "We are going on a field trip!"

Cricket. Cricket.

"Where?" Asks Cindy, breaking the tense silence.

See, after their little... DC decathalon trip Debacle, they were not exactly... thrilled to hear they'd be going on another field trip. Excited and terrified, sure, but not thrilled.

"To the Avengers Tower!"

The class erupted in chitter-chatter and bombarded the teacher with questions, who looked absolutely done with teaching.

It must be the feeling of safety that comes with the word 'Avengers' that made them forget their fears and just be excited, because they all think nothing bad could happen to them when they are at the place where literal superheroes live.

The only one who was dreading this trip, was Peter, who groaned and put his head in his hands. While the teacher yelled at them to quiet down, Ned nudged his side and rapid-fire whispered,

"Dude is that true?"

"Are you gonna go?"

"Mr. Stark is totally going to embarrass you."

"What do you think Flash will do?"

"Will I get to stay after and work with Dr. Banner on the new project we're working on?"

"Do you think Tony might accidentally call you son and your identity3 (cubed) will be revealed before he announces it in the media in a month?"

"Can you ask Thor to get Loki to turn me into a butterfly?"

"Is—"

"Ned," Peter cut in. "I don't think I'm gonna go."

"Why not—"

"Because he doesn't want Tony Stark to call him out about not being an intern. And I know this because the only high school intern there is _me."_ Flash says, sauntering over to Peter. The class had gone quiet and were waiting for what Peter would do next.

But it wasn't Peter who did anything.

"Fuck off, Flash."

MJ stood, glaring at Flash as the class held their breath. Flash gritted his teeth.

"Shut up _Michelle._ No one listens to _girls_ anyway."

See, normally the class would stay out of Flash's way so they wouldn't get bullied by him also. But calling MJ Michelle, or anything indicating she's a 'girl' And not non binary makes them all defensive of her. They start yelling at Flash to leave MJ alone and to never, ever use any labels MJ doesn't like again. Flash flares at Peter one last time, his neck a bit red, and sits down. They shouting dies down, and so does Peter. The one thing he would not let Flash do is bully someone else that isn't him. Especially his friends.

The rest of the day mostly consisted of Flash boasting about how great his fake internship is and how 'puny penis Parker the parent killer is lying.'

There were a few times Peter had to duck into a deserted hallway or bathroom to let out a few sobs. Calling him Penis Parker is something he could handle. But mentioning his dead family...

_I've still got dad, it's okay he isn't going anywhere. Dad loves me. It's okay._

And every time he thought that and reminded himself all the people in the world that do love him, he can get his breathing under control.

But he still doubts it sometimes. And the only thing that keeps him from convincing himself that his dad doesn't love him is what Tony said to him when he had a tough moment, where Peter thought Tony was just pitying him, and no one actually loved him.

" _If you're ever doubting how much I love you, you can ask. And I will always respond yes."_

So that's what he did. He pulled out his phone in the boys bathroom and scrolled through his contacts, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. He pulled up their chat and typed,

-

**_Spiderson_ **

Dad do you love me?

**_Irondad_ **

Of course I do kid, with all my heart. Are you having one of those days again?

**_Spiderson_ **

Yeah.

**_Irondad_ **

Do you need me to come and pick you up?

**_Spiderson_ **

Please? But if you're busy it's okay

**_Irondad_ **

I'll meet you in the office in 5 ok kid?

**_Spiderson_ **

Okay

Thanks dad

**_Irondad_ **

Any time.

-

Tony got up from his chair and left the meeting, doing sign language for 'P' at Pepper, doing their secret way of saying 'its Peter'. She nods and turns her attention back to the speaker, and Tony leaves.

When he gets to the school and through the office doors, people are staring at him, because it can'tbe _Tony Stark_ who's walking their halls, and into the office.

Tony waited there, scrolling on his phone for a few minutes until he looked up just as Peter was about to walk in, like he sensed it or something. He smiled and brought the boy in for a hug, then kept an arm around him as they exited the school grounds.

Peter chose not to say anything about the field trip, since I'm all honesty, he forgot about it. Tony bought him ice cream and they spent the rest of the day talking and spending time together, Tony only disappearing a few times to do something business-y real quick. Pepper of course came and offered her support, then had to leave really quickly because someone made a mistake in the finance department and could cost the whole company their treasures.

So even though that day wasn't the best, it got better at the end. And Peter fell asleep with a happier mindset than when the day began n.

And then he perished again.   
  


**_~~Time skip to the next day after his school with lots of bullying and he had chicken nuggets for lunch, brought to you by McDonalds~~_ **

If Wanda where to read his mind at the moment, all she'd here was _AhhhHHHahHHHHHHHhhhHHhhHHHhhhhhhhhHhHhhHhhhhhhhhHHHhhhhhHHhHhhh!_

and

_'Peter Parker was an amazing boy, nephew, and son, and it is so heartbreaking that he had to die this way'._

And _why?_

He's going on a field trip! Yay! Not. _(*_ ** _Insert Harry Wells from the Flash_** _*)_.

How could he have forgotten!?!

He was going on a field trip _to the tower,_ to his _home._ This is _literally_ where he lived. Maybe he could persuade Tony to let him stay home...

_Dad loves to embarrass me, there's no way he'd let me stay, only if it was my birthday that day or something!_ he thinks. Then he freezes.

_Wait._

With a new yearning to live that wasn't there before, he skipped into the tower lobby side entrance, waving hello to Daniel and the others who worked there. Then he got into an elevator and began practicing how he'd convince Tony to let him stay. So far, he had:

_It's my birthday! *puppy eyes*._

Maybe it'll work. Maybe. Plus, if everything goes wrong, at least he'll have the whole weekend (because the field trip is on Friday) to plan his escape.

~~ ** _3rd person time skip to when he gets to the kitchen where the others are~~_**

There was a thud from the hallway which got Tony's attention. He sighed and walked over to help Peter, who'd fallen over up. "You've gotta be careful with that thing, it's very precious and can determine your life."

Natasha looked over at them. "What is, Peter or what he's holding?" She said.

Peter left Tony behind and came jogging into the room with his regular wide smile. To Bucky, it seemed like this kid was always happy.

"Probably his homework, it's why he's smiling." Pietro sasses playfully.

"You're happy you got homework?" Asks Natasha with eyebrows raised.

"No..." He starts sheepishly.

"I'd like to know what it is then--" Starts Tony but _someone_ interrupts.

"And us," Interjects Clint from where he's clipping his toenails on a stool, his tongue between his teeth.

"Urgh! Go do that somewhere else!" Tony says in disgust, not for the first time wondering why (and _how_ ) this bird-thing is still even alive.

"This is what it is," Peter says and hands Tony a sheet.

His eyes skim over it for a few seconds until he busts out laughing. Clint, suddenly interested, snatches the paper from his hands. "Lemme see." The others crowd around him to read it, wondering what is so funny it made _Tony Stark_ laugh. Then they laugh themselves.

"Do I have to go? Please don't make me go," Peter whines, using his puppy eyes on Tony. Tony tries to shield his eyes, but it was too late by then. He'd already been convinced by just Peters look.

"You don't have to go only because it's your birthday on that day. And because your puppy eyes power is too OP. Also! Peter Your birthday is in a week!" He exclaims, and the others smile. Except Clint.

"Awww I wanted to embarrass him!"

"There will be plenty more chances for you to do that later," Nat says. "Plus, isn't Harley coming on that day for a visit?"

Peter (and the others) perk up, their attention caught. "Harley? Where's Harley?" Peter asks, suddenly starting to vibrate. Tony sighs. Those two are going to drive him crazy.

"Harley is coming in a week, the same day as your birthday. He can only stay for two days though since he is very busy this time of year at MIT. So he's only staying for two days, so _don't start a prank war you can't finish._ " Tony looks at Peter sternly, enunciating each word slowly so Peter can understand. He understood, but it didn't mean he accepted.

"No promises."

Tony groans, putting his head in his hands. Then he looks up at Peter again with a broken mind. "Please don't be crazy when he's here this time."

Peter has a wide smile. A too wide smile. An unnatural one. "Request heard; request denied."

"BOOM!" Yells Clint. The others snicker.

"Dad, prepare to die in one week. No... you will wish you could die. But you can't." Peter grins.

"I could just jump off a cliff," Tony mutters. "That'll be merciful for what you and him might do."

Peter flings himself onto Tony, using his power as a much-loved son to persuade Tony to live through the misery he will bring. "No dad! Please don't go! I don't want you to leave!" He tries to make his voice wobble.

Tony hugs him back. "I won't. I'll live through it. Hopefully I'll survive. And I'm not going to actually do that Pete."

"You promise?" Peter asks. " _You won't leave?"_

_Don't smirk don't smirk don't smirk!_

"Promise."

He smirks.

Peter giggles and Tony realizes his mistake. He just swore he wouldn't leave during the torture. He stared open-mouthed at this boy, who somehow has managed to trick him. trick _the_ Tony Stark.

The others in the room of course, found it absolutely hilarious. Clint was even crying.

Tony set his jaw and grabbed the stupid slip, signing it as 'absent' and dropping it on Peter, who was rolling on the floor, saying to himself, "I gotta save my energy, gotta save my evil, gotta save it for Har, need to save it for later!" But was still laughing his head off and clutching his stomach.

"You ever heard of the story about the boy who cried wolf?" Tony said, staring down at him. Peter took 10 seconds to make understandable sentences.

"Y-yeah, But-t this was only o-once! And I did m-mean it, Dad, I don't want you to- to die," he said between chuckles. "But you still promised!" Then he started laughing loudly again.

Tony 'humphed' furiously and stalked out of the room, ignoring the Avengers crying on the floor in front of him and the one who tried to grab his pant leg. (I.e Clint, who got a small kick in the face for doing so.)


	5. Up

Now, the Avengers aren't exactly what the media poses them to be.

Yes, they are badass, crotch-kicking, Chitari yeeting superheroes, but that's not who they REALLY are, and they aren't crotch-kicking and Chitari yeeting ALL the time, and the media only sees that part of them.

But inside the tower, (yes, there is still no compound, the Avengers and SHIELD here are lazy shits) they all act in certain ways, and different styles. (and different animals- but that's not important, moving on,)

Like, for example, going to bed. Some Avengers sleep when their partner sleeps, like Stucky and Visanda and Clint with his Elmo stuffy; some couples don't go to bed together, like Pepperony and ms. Cho, who's still waiting for Thor to dump Loki. And then there's the couple that live Oceans, and Vibranium forcefields apart, like Falcanther (sam x T'challa).

And all those couples, together/with a Sesame Street character or not, they all love their partners. They do.

But.

That doesn't mean they'll do things for the other, only if it's in a battle. Let's take a look, shall we?

This is just a... normal evening, okay? So right now, Tony can't reach the cereal on the high shelf, even when he tried Peppers Heels. And you may be thinking,' well he's an engineer billionaire, why doesn't he just get a stool?'

Well, Clint used it to get his Elmo stuffy that Tony put in an equal distance from the vents to the ground, and also a spot that's just too high for him to reach.

So the refrigerator.

And now Clint is getting back at him.

But Clint also isn't an idiot when it comes to pranks. Any other times, yes, but when HE is setting his OWN... he does it thoroughly and mastermindedley (shut up I know it isn't a word.)

So when Tony jumps one more time to have his fingers catch the corner of the box and have it slide down with his jump, the Frosted Flakes spill everywhere, because Clint left both of the sides on the cereal box open, so every single shriveled up-Golden hay like Donald Trumps Hair-Coated in sugar-flakey flake pours out, and scatters onto the kitchen floor.

And the best part was, Tony knew what happened as soon as he heard the shrill sound like the noise you hear in a grass field from all the bugs, the noise of all the flakes pouring out, so he stood there, evident amounts of disappointment plain on his features as the Frosted Flakes slide off his head and down his back, and through his shirt and chest.

And Clint set up cameras (other than the security ones already in place), so he was watching the whole thing from his 'evil lair', inside the vents as he shoved frootloops into his mouth, petting Elmo the stuffy like a dog.

"We did good, Ellie, we did good," he says, then slithers like a snake to another part of the vents.

The first person, or god, actually, to pass Tony on his knees cleaning the mess is Thor, visiting from Asgard and wearing his human clothes.

Once Tony saw him, he figured, hey. He's a god, he'll help. He was wrong. "Hey Pointbreak mind helping me clean this?"

Thor looked at him, then the mess, putting two-and-two together, and just chuckles. Then he's gone.

So that was a no from him.

The next to pass was Bucky. Like I said earlier, the Avengers don't wear their halloween (or superhero, whatever) costumes in the tower; Bucky was wearing simple grey sweatpants and a loose thread long-sleeve. And Asking him for help wasn't exactly what Tony wanted to do, but it was taking too long to clean this up.

And while asking, he said the wrong words.

"Hey Shiny mind giving me a hand here?"

And Bucky just ripped off his arm and threw it at him. And continued walking.

Tony sat back, tears of frustration in his old eyes and thought, _why god, why?_

The next person to come was Natasha, who when asked by Tony "can you get the broom?" She pretended not to hear him and kept walking. Like usual.

The demon shredded skin was now swept into a pile with Tonys hands, and now he just needed to pick it all up and put it back in the box because shhh, no one will know, and the floor is reletively clean, so it should be fine.

After Natasha came Wanda, Pietro whizzing past her and blowing all the frosted flakes out of their pile which made Tony let out a strangled cry. All his hard work, gone.

Before Tony could even speak, Wanda had glanced over and saw the spilt cereal and Tony staring at it like it was a dead child, and got an idea.

She put one up his nostril.

None of them noticed Peter, who saw the mess on the floor after entering the kichen and turned around to get a broom.

Tony sat back in defeat. All he had now was a metal arm, damaged pride, scattered cereal and a Frosted Flake in his nose. He thought it couldn't get any worse than this, but he was wrong.

Pepper decided that just at that moment she'd stroll past, and paused at the sight of her pouting husband, and the mess surrounding him. Biting her lip to keep in the laughter, she went over to Tony, careful not to step on any of the cereal so it won't make any more of a mess, and kissed Tony's forehead, saying, "I love you, and good luck." Then she left.

Next who showed up was none other than cucumber himself, Dr. Strange. He was walking by, bot a care in the world, until Tony caught his wrist. "Can't you help me?"

Dr. Strange shook his head and replied, "I'm busy, I have to go to the London sanctum." And Tony was too tired and frustrated to realize Dr. Strange's smirk because what he just said was a lie.

Dr. Strange didn't need to go to the London sanctum, he was actually about to go to his hideout in Cuba where he'll be eating Laura Secord ice cream by the beach. But Tony didn't need to know that. So he left.

Tony sighed gloomily, standing up on old bones to look for a broom. And just as he left the room, Peter returned with the broom, his backpack on his back and started to sweep.

Tony, totally oblivious of this, found no broom in the closet and groaned, going onto his stomach and stretching out his limbs. In the middle of the hall. On the floor. Closing his eyes.

And later on he'd go into the kitchen, expecting there to still be a mess, but instead found a note on the counter from Peter:

_Hey dad or whoever finds this, I saw the spilt frosted flakes (I cri, such a waste) and decided to clean it up, I'm really sorry I left the broom but I had to leave because I was going to be late. I also took an apple, so you can't tell me I need to have breakfast, becaue I did haha! Victory._

_And I hope you have an amazing day, and I love you and you're all the greatest family I could ask for. :)_

_Love, Peter xoxo_

_< ><><><>_

**_Time skip OF 6 DAYS IT IS NOW THE DAY BEFORE THE FIELD TRIP_ **

**_.................._ **

Peter was scrolling through the internet, just looking for something to do on the couch so he can fall asleep when he gets a text from Ned.

\--

**Chat:** THE 3 AMIGOS **:**

\--

**BillNye:**

Peter r u gonna go SPOODERMANING tonight?

**Bi-derman:**

No... And guess what?

**BillNye:**

You... burnt your eyebrows off again!

**Bi-derman:**

No, but good guess.

I got permission not to go on the field trip!

Honestly I'm so surprised dad even let me.

AND HARLEY IS COMING!!! WERE GONNA MAKE DADS LIFE A LIVING HELL!!

**BillNye:**

Yep. You two definitely are.

WAIT!!

Aw now all I have is MJ :(   
  


**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

Nope.  
  


**BillNye:**

WHAT!!?! MJ PLEASE COME I DON'T WANNA GO ALONE!  
  


**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

See I knew you wanted me.  
  


**BillNye:**

So... you _are_ coming?  
  


**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

Yes.  
  


**BillNye:**

Then why'd you give me a heartattack

**bi-derman:**

bc they wanted you to admit you wanted them to come lol  
  


**BillNye:**

Why would you think I didn't want you MJ? Of course I do! You're one of my best friends!

You know I always want you!!!  
  


**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

...

**Bi-derman:**

MiMi?

**Billnye:**

arethey okay?

**Bi-derman:**

MJ ARE YOU OKAY

**BillNye:**

omg did we make them cry? MJ IM SO SORRY!

**Bi-derman:**

nah its okay they probably just died

MJ

**BillNye:**

r u dead?

**Bi-derman:**

*poke poke*

r u alive

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

I'm not dead. I just had to do smthn real quick.

And I wasn't crying

**Bi-derman:**

....

I'm not saying you were trying not to cry but I'm saying you were trying not to cry

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

Whatever losers

Continue that theory and we'll see who cries.  
  


**BillNye:**

MJ ONLY ACTS AGGRESSIVE WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY HAPPY!

MJ IT'S OKAY I LOVE YOU TOO!

**Bi-derman:**

love you to MJ and Ned!

BFFs!!!

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

You guys are losers.

**Bi-derman:**

We may be, but so are you

admit the truth

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

no

Never  
  


**BillNye:**

please

*pouting emoji*

**Bi-derman:**

*another pouting emoji*

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

*Please stop*

**Bi-derman:**

*admit*

**BillNye:**

*the*

**Bi-derman:**

*truth*

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

Fine.

"I love you too."

**Bi-derman:**

Did they-

**BillNye:**

Just-

**Bi-derman:**

AIR QUOTES IN A TEXT!?!?!?!?!

**TheyAreMichelleObama:**

"Good Night losers"

**_BillNye:_ **

Aww MJ r u going to sleep now? I don't wanna be left alone with Peter :(  
  


**Bi-derman:**

*Insert Happy's grumpy cat face*

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

Peter Ned just said I'm his fav

**_Bi-derman:_ **

It's okay, because he deserves you, not me

And you're my fav too

**_BillNye:_ **

Peter...

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

This just got depressing.

**_Bi-derman:_ **

Do you guys think Flash will go in the field trip? Like he's lying and stuff...

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

I hope he does so Black Widow can kill him

I'd die to get thigh choked by her

**_BillNye:_ **

Same.

Everyone would.

**_Bi-derman_ **

It isn't as fun as it sounds trust me.

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

I never said it had to be fun I just want it to happen

**_Bi-derman:_ **

Okay r u a fangirl?

**_BillNye:_ **

Yes.

**_Bi-derman:_ **

No Ned, I meant MJ.

And I might go to sleep soon bc I'm tired and it's like 12

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

Yeah same.

And yes. Black Widow and all the female Avengers including Pepper Potts are my idols.

Any more questions?

**_Bi-derman:_ **

See this is why Flash is afraid of you, and why me and Ned love u

And no

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

Master of debate and suppressing your feelings. Oh yeah.

**_Bi-derman:_ **

Goodnight Rick Astley group chat!

**_BillNye:_ **

Goodnight!

**_TheyAreMichelleObama:_ **

Night.

**_~~_ **

Peter shuts off his phone and closes his eyes, snuggling into the fluffy couch where he's been since 9. Then a whisper knocks him out of his half-consciousness. "You awake?"

He opens his eyes and sees Tony, who winces at Peters murderous expression. "I am now."

"Ahh, sorry 'bout that. I was just gonna ask if you wanna come'n work in the lab with me? There was a new shipment of supplies that came in, and first come first serve. Or are you fine just sitting there and vegetating?"

Peter mumbles a 'stay here.' Tony grins and nods, hesitating a bit before going over to ruffle the boys hair and kiss his head. "Love you."

A small smile worms it's way onto Peters face no matter how tired he is. "Love you too dad."

Then Peter falls asleep on the couch. Tony drapes a blanket over his shoulders, then wishes him a goodnight before heading to his lab.

_^^_

_I smile. Aunt May is going to be so surprised when she comes home and finds the place decorated for her birthday!_

_Okay, first... I need to start with decor... No! I should bake the cake and WHILE it's cooking I can decorate and clean! Perfect! Okay, so I need to follow the recipe..._

_For the next 20 minutes I read the instructions carefully and mix all the ingredients into the big mixing bowl. When I turn the machine on I must have turned it on the wrong setting, so it sprays me with Cake powder and all that._

_"Eugh!" I shield my eyes from the spray and quickly turn it off._

_Okay, maybe put it a setting lower this time._

_While it mixes, I get out the two pans, circular ones instead of a rectangle to bake the cake in. Then in a rush, glancing at the clock and realizing I only have 45 minutes until May comes home, I take off my apron and wash my hands so nothing gets dirty, then start cleaning the apartment so it looks like a new place._

_Ding. The cake is ready. I run over and take it out of the oven, burning my hands and placing it on the stove. Should I let it sit and cool down? No, I don't have time! So I cut off the curvy tops (Jaggedly) and eat that as I stack and frost with superhuman speed (probably because I'm a superhuman) and just as I finish the icing coat, the door opens._

_"Nonono May you can't come in yet!" I yell, running to the door. She looks at me surprised, then starts laughing at my hair, that's completely white from the spray._

_"I'll wait outside," She says and goes out the door. Before I close it, I smile and say,_

_"Thanks!"_

_Then rush back in. AHHH! May is here! I need to do this quickly. I run into the kitchen and what i see makes my heart drop. The icing... it's sliding off in chunks and falling onto the counter taking peices of cake with it. I failed._

_I sink to the ground. I wanted to something for her, just ONE THING, and now all my work is gone. She deserved a Happy Birthday after all she's been through, and since she just went to Chemo therapy, she should get a surprise. And I couldn't do that for her._

_May's soft voice from outside the door says, "Pete? Can I come in?"_

_I nod. Then realize she can't see me. So I put my head on my knees and mumble, "yes."_

_The door opens and she walks in slowly, dropping her bag. "Pete? What's the matter?" Then she walks into the kitchen and probably notices the poor excuse of a cake. "oh Peter,"_

_" 'm sorry May." My voice cracks. "i just wanted to give you a nice birthday."_

_She crouches down beside me and puts a hand on my arm. "You did Pete, I love it."_

_I look up. "But... I failed. I couldn't do anything. I didn't get a present."_

_She smiles at me. "Sometimes Peter... It isn't about the gift, it's about the thought. I could have all the gifts and money in the world, but if they don't have any thought in them, then they're useless."_

_I finally meet her eyes. "You aren't mad?"_

_She lets out a laugh. "Heavens no Peter! Of course I'm not mad, I love it! And even if your idea to celebrate my birthday didn't go as planned, that doesn't matter; you tried to make me happy, and that is so kind and amazing of you, so thank you."_

_"Thanks," I say. "But... What about the cake? Or... goop?" I ask with a slight chuckle, glancing at the failed experiment on the counter._

_"Well... we can always use spoons, you know," She says with a sly grin._

_That's how we celebrated. Eating cake with spoons, and spending time together on her birthday, since both of us knew, deep down, that that was going to be one of her last._

_^^_

Then he wakes up. And stares at the seam of the pillow for half an hour, silently crying.

_I love you May._

_But you're never coming back._

_._

Peter goes down the stairs, his eyes half-closed and his brain not awake. He opens the door to Tony's lab and crosses the room to where he knows his dad will be, sitting on his spiny chair since after a long day of walking his feet hurt too much to stand.

Accidentally, he bumps into a few tables before reaching the desk and crawling into Tony's lap, resting his cheek in Tony's shoulder and falling asleep instantly.

"Nightmare?" Tony asks, but when Peter doesn't answer he smiles and knows the boy is sleeping. He pauses for a moment, to kiss the kid's head goodnight without questioning his reasons. Then he shifted a bit before resuming his work and spinning around his lab with the kid still sleeping on him, much happier than he was before, and keeping a hand on Peters back so he wouldn't fall backward, he picked up a pen and began to write.


	6. Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the day of the field trip

**_Class 3rd person POV_ **

The inside was all clean, sterile and fancy, yet had an aura of home to it. There were at least 6 entry guards, and one at every corner or door. The ones that caught the teens glancing away in fear at their intimidating stances, tried to relax and gave them a genuine smile, which did calm the class. Well, sort of.

"What if they smile at every person that comes in, and one time it just happens to be a murderer—" Lisa, one of Peters classmates voices their opinion to their friend, who cut her off.

"Seriously? Murderer?" Jamie Said, raiding his eyebrows.

"Shut up," she hisses.

"You shut up."

"Hi Midtown Of Science And Technology, welcome to the Avengers tower!" Exclaimed a lady with black hair that was smiling at them.

"Do we clap?" Whispered Lisa.

"Everyone else is..."

"My name is Thao-vi, and I'm to get you all your badges and such since our tour guide is running a bit later than usual."

Lisa followed the group with Jamie by her side. "Why do you think she's late?" Jamie Asked.

"Maybe her family died," she said. Jamie gave her a horrified look.

"Why is that always the first thing you think of?"

"It is not," she balked.

"It is."

"Is not."

"Is is."

"That isn't proper—"

"Grammar? See , we're such good friends I can finish your sentences."

"That was totally planned by you. You made me say that on purpose."

"Pfshh, What are you talking about?"

"You know, you're really dumb."

"And you aren't?"

"No I am, just you're dumber."

"Well you're dumbererer!"

"Point: proven."

"Well- h-hey, where'd the group go?"

They looked around and started to panic. Among the mass of people, they couldn't see Mr. Harrison, or Thao-Vi, or even Flash or anyone they recognize. Jamie grabbed Lisa's arm. "Ohmygod LiLi What do we do?"

She rolled her eyes at Jamie's scared voice and frightened face. "Calm down, we can just go ask the front desk peeps. Besides if we get stuck here all night we can just hang out in the vents with our bags."

They walked over a bit hesitantly to the front desk peeps, who are one boy and a girl, who are speaking to each other.

"Never say never. I mean, you never know, Joey and Rachel _could_ have a kid together," Says the brunet guy.

"Never going to happen! What I really want to see is some Rachel and Monica. Now _that's_ the good stuff, and I like, so ship it." Said the blonde lady.

"You're such a perve." Brunet countered, smirking as he started to imagine it. Blonde wrinkled her nose at his far away look.

"That isn't perversion. And I'm lesbian, Carl-- Hi, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there..." She trailed off as he saw how young they were. "Uh, fans aren't allowed in, but if you buy yourself a tour you can see the building." She said kindly.

"Oh- no ma'am we're with the high school tour here today but we're, uh heh, our group kinda left ya behind..."

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Okay, name please?"

Before they could answer, there was a loud screech.

"HARLEY QUINN!"  
  
  


\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  


Peter woke up in his room at the tower. It was almost 11, so the light from outside his window peeked through the green curtains and shined directly into his face.

He groaned and shoved his head under the fluffy covers. At least he was toasty warm and lying on a marshmallow. Wait.

_I'm not on a marshmallow, obviously. It's a cloud, dingus._

So for another 5 minutes, Peter lay happily on his fluffy warm cloud, then his body does the fake-fall thing and he gasps, now awake.

_Welp I may as well roll._

So he rolled and got comfortable. But he couldn't fall back asleep, so with a grunt, he rolled into the floor, saved from bruises by the blankets the were twisted around him completely. He couldn't find the strength to walk, so he dragged himself out of his room and down the halls, the blankets stuck around his waist and holding him snuggly. He looked like some sort of fucked up princess bleeding white dress that followed them as they crawled to a barn where they'd spend the night shivering and trying to stay alive with their injuries and then in the morning they'd get captured and—

Wait. Story.

Rhodey came down the hall and just glanced at Peter, who was crawling down the halls. "Hey bud, Happy birthday." Then he stepped over him and continued walking promptly.

_Heyy it's ma birthday!_

Peter grunted in greeting and kept going. His blanket-skirt finally got left at the doorway to the kitchen, and he hauled himself to a standing position, walking the rest of the way to the counter. Natasha was behind it, and it looked like she was making a tea and eating a croissant.

"Happy birthday Pete!"

She, like Rhodey, found Peter half asleep in the Avengers tower, in the penthouse, a very regular thing. So she just ruffled his hair as a recognition and took a bite. (Of the croissant).

"You too," Peter mumbled. Then he groaned and dropped his head, cursing his being as Nat chuckled.

Slowly, eventually, he lifted his head, watched her for a few moments to get himself motivated a tad, then slid off the stool, walking around the counter and opening Cuppord: Childish Breakfast. He spent the next five minutes pouring the cereal _then_ the milk, and adding a spoon to complete it. He sat back down.

"Hey Pete, What's this called?" Asked Nat, holding up the croissant. Peter groaned.

"Natasha..."

"Just once. Please, it gets me motivated for the day."

Peter groaned again. "Fine!" He finally complied. "I'll say the damn word. Croissant."

Natasha snorted, ruffled Peters hair again, and left. After a minute of eating two spoonfuls very slowly and staring at the marble black and white counter, he again slid off the stool like slime off a pole and decided he might as well walk around and hope to catch Tony somewhere, since he wanted to talk to him.

So With a bowl of cereal and still dressed in his PJs, since the interns knew him well enough to know he lived there, Peter sauntered out of the elevator, taking his time to look around at the new projects they were working on, all the while eating his cereal pretty slowly. The frootloops will get soggy soon.

The only intern who wasn't oblivious of Peter and with a cup of ambition stuck in their hands was Cael, one of the friends he made being in the tower. Cael was a morning person, and as soon as he got to the lab he was working right away. Peter went over to him, and Cael looked up just as Peter shovelled another spoonful of frootloops into his mouth.

"Heya Pete, how's the breakfast?" He asked, walking quickly to a set of metal drawers and rummaging around in there, clearly busy.

" 'S pretty good. Whatcha working on?"

Just as he bent down to inspect the thing Cael was working on someone called his name, and he froze. "Peter? What are you doing here?"

He turned around and saw his class staring at him open-mouthed and faces a mix of shock, astonishment and anger, and in the case of Ned and MJ, and Lisa and Jamie for some reason, are amusement.

He swallowed. "Um, I'm uh, I..." he stuttered.

_Oh fuck I totally forgot they were coming here on a field trip today!_

The tour guide, who was actually Angela (she came later) who'd been like an older sister to him that wasn't always around, spotted what the kiddies were gaping at, and sighed. That was going to be tough on Peter. He.... was.... doomed. Even Cael knew it.

"I'm uh... Intern, ya know?... And... yeah, so I'll uh,.. leave... now, bye class, see... see you all tomorrow!" And then he slipped away from them all, his face stuck in a permanent wince while weaving through the chairs and fires that would set off the alarms later and very focused interns. 

_My class just saw me in a lab! Eating cereal! In hello kitty pyjamas!_ Tomorrow was going to be a rough day. The embarrassment shamed him and forced him back to his room where he paced, breathing in and out to calm his nerves and trying to strategize some sort of explanation. Or escape plan. Maybe if he moved to British Columbia- no, they'd still find him there. Perhaps Thor would give him a ride to Asgard?

just as he was about to pace for the twelfth time a knock on his door made him lose concentration and open it, revealing Tony, who had sunglasses on and not grease stained sweatpants, which meant he was going somewhere or doing something business-y.

"Hey billionaire what's up?"

Tony made a disgusted face. "Ugh. Anyway. I'm letting you know Harles is coming for a visit—"

Peter perked up at the mention of Harley, something that made tony chuckle. "He's almost at the tower so you'd better get dressed unless you wanna walk around in the PJ's. Not that anyone would mind here of course, but there's a few business peeps in the lobby and your class is on a field trip, so maybe not the hello kitty."

The boy didn't notice Tony's smirk.

Peter grimaced at the mention of the field trip. "Yeah about that..."

Tony clicked his tongue, grinning sassily. "I know, you want Cinderella pyjamas! That's what your birthday present can be!"

"No, just you know that field trip that's... -heh-, on a field trip?" Peter's face made Tony alight with glee and amusement, but he had to play his part so Peter wouldn't know he was planning anything.

"Yes...?"

"Well they saw me earlier after I woke up and was in the lab with Cael -you know him, great guy- wearing the pyjamas and eating a bowl of frootloops and then I kinda escaped -like totally professionally, with a great excuse cuz I'm an awesome liar as you know- and yeah I've been here debating whether I should move to Asgard and spend my days with Thor and Loki or maybe turn myself into a footstool in an antique store."

Tony opened his mouth, a slight frown on his face. "Uhm... okay, that's... interesting -and a _bit_ last minute, don't you think? And... you probably screwed up your normal life's chance with that moment" he gasps and Peters filled with dread. Sentences that are broken with a gasp from Tony are never good. "FRI, bae, pit that recording onto Underoos Is Cursed, saves for Embarrassing Moments."

Peter groaned. "Dad no,"

"Dad, Yes."

Then Peter lit up. "HARLEY!!!" He grabbed random clothes out of his closet, which just happened to be pink stripped Puma pants and a button up Hawaii T-shirt before flinging the door back open that he so rudely slammed in Tony's face and sprinting down the hall, going too fast to slow down in time before smacking straight into the back wall of the elevator. Before he could press the close button Tony jumped in, rejecting the idea of being left behind and missing Harley's arrival, and since he only came like once a month because he was so busy at MIT and starting his company, it was always a big celebration when he did.

Both of their hearts were racing, Peters from the sprint and his basically brothers arrival, Tony's because he was going to see his basically son for the first time in a month, which made him unable to keep a smile away and hidden from Peter, who loved to tease and pry at Tony's feelings. Not That Tony was complaining, of course; in fact, the thought Peter cared about him to ask and tease his smile and glee at Harley's arrival made his heart warm.

Once the doors dinged and Peter stopped chattering about literally nothing but excitement, they were running down the lobby, to where Harley has just walked in the doors With a black bag, seeming a bit unsure yet at home at the same time. Tony was almost jogging to catch up, beaming at Harley who's grown over the month. Once Harley spotted Peter though, Tony knew his life was about to end.

"Harley Quinn!" Peter cries and starts running at him.

"Peter Piper!" Yells Harley, dropping the bag and opening his arms for a hug and right before Peter could hug him he turned and crouched. Peter leap-frogged over him as Tony followed behind, rubbing his face, not for the first time regretting ever introducing those two.

When Peter faced him again, he jabbed Harley's nose. "Boop GOT YOUR NOSE!"

He ran away laughing like a maniac as Harley's face turned dark, and he dropped venom. " _No one boops my nose."_

Then he ran off after Peter, screaming "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" While Peter was screaming with laughter up the stairs.

All of them were oblivious of the two teens at a receptionist desk staring at them with open mouths.

Tony sighed and started to walk after them, assuming they went up to the penthouse. After five minutes, when he got in, he heard Peter yelling "ow ow stop it you're hurting my finger!" And when he looked to the right, Harley was holding onto Peters pinky with a fist, before Peter snatched it back, whimpering and inspecting it for hidden gargoyles or something.

"Boys, play nice. Don't kill the ceiling. Don't break each other. And please, for the love of all who's great, _don't_ leave the toilet plugged."

Tony walked into the kitchen behind the island, and started making himself coffee.

"Would you rather the sink?" Harley said, smirking at Peter's 'injury'.

Tony wrinkled his nose. "Ew! That's so gross! What is wrong with you?"

Harley sighed. "Many things."

"Too many to count." Peter grumbled, glaring at Harley's threatening hand that hurt his finger.

Tony banged his head against the counter. "I.need.coffe." He muttered.

"I.need.candy." Said Peter.

"I.need.unicorns." Said Harley.

"I.need.Alexander Hamilton."

"I.need.condoms."

"Okay okay enough!" Tony interrupted, knowing well they'd just keep going until he intervened. "I don't need to know... any of that. Your all bad boys. Time out. Go to the lab."

The boys pouted when he said Time Out, but grinned at 'go to the lab'.

"Woohoo! Labbylabbylabby! Labbylabbylabby!" Chanted Peter to the song of 'Bubble Guppies' as he skipped towards the elevator, totally forgetting his class is here on a field trip and what he'll have to deal with tomorrow.

Tony dreaded in a few hours when Peter would be bouncing off the walls. But... if he's hyper now it means he'll crash at like 6: 00, and Tony will get peace. Oh, wait. He forgot about Harley. He's going to make his life miserable. But Tony loved him anyways.

It's only 12:00 and he's already ready to tuck Peter and Harley into bed.

"If this is your form of punishment, then you're the greatest and dumbest. Now let's go Peter!!!" Harley Yelled And They slipped out and into the elevator, jumping dangerously up and down making it rock.

"Don't—" But the doors had closed. Tony sighed.

 _Well, if I have to deal with those two I might as well be comfortable._ He thought, and went to change into his lab clothes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the name Leo.


	7. Gonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continued with the field trip

"Oi Pizza," called Harley, hands cupping his mouth.

"Yeee" said Peter In recognition. Harley got on his elbows and grunted while getting up off the Lab couch.

"Can you get Stank to let me have ten waffles for breakfast tomorrow cuz normally he panics when I throw up after six and becomes all mama bear- you know what I'm talking about."

Peter sighs. "Unfortunately. And why do you wanna eat ten even though it'll make you hurl?" He gasps. "Hurly Harley!"

He wrinkles his nose at the new nickname. "No. Don't ever call me that. Ever again."

"You get to call me Pizza."

"And Petra," Harley inputs helpfully.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Harley snickered at Peter and flopped back down on the couch. Peter glances over at him, squinting at his laziness.

"Ya know D man won't like you just lying down and not working." He gasped. "T-dog!"

"That's... a great name. It'll totally piss him off. Let's use it. And he ain't the boss of me."

Peter stares at him for a few seconds. "Youre sleeping at his tower. In his tower."

Harley sighs dramatically. "I know, I'm practically Rapunzel." He shifts and looks back. "So...? Yay or nay?"

Peter neighed like a horse And Harley pouted.

"Pleeeeease."

Peter smirked, preparing for him to bribe and barter And give him more than necessary. He might as well take advantage. "How about...? no."

"I'll let you choose the movie tonight."

"No you won't."

"You're right," Harley sighs. "No, I wouldn't."

"I'm not doing shit without payment."

"What about as a nice thing you would do for your brother?" Harley Asks, trying puppy eyes.

Peter sniffs. "You can't win me with puppy eyes, I _am_ puppy eyes. And hell no."

Harley let's out a frustrated sigh. "Well what _do_ you want, Stark downgrade?"

Peter theatrically tapped his chin. "100 gold doubloons and the sword Excalibur would do."

"Can you just lemme eat 10 waffles? Help a brother out? This time I won't vomit on _you,_ and you can choose my target. I've heard rumours Clint is in a prank war with you?"

"How have you heard _rumours_?" Peter Exclaims. "You've only been in the tower for like 20 mminutes. And I'd like that. But there is one more thing I desire..." He finishes ominously.

"oh god what?"

"Admit you came today and not any other is because it's my birthday."

"You know I can't do that," Harley Says, jutting out his chin.

"And why not? Because of your pridddddee? You don't have any."

"uh, rude. And no, it's because it isn't true. I already told you it just fit my schedule better," He lies.

But Peter is right. Harley totally came to celebrate Peters birthday with him.

"Sure." Drawls Peter, the sarcasm deep in his voice.

"So what else are you willing to trade?"

Peter smirks. "Nothing. Only that."

"I'm not going to say it."

"Then no waffle."

Harley groaned in defeat and threw a pillow at Peters head that he caught and threw back, smacking Harley straight in the face, not even batting an eye.

Harley was not pleased, to say the least. "You dick!"

"Asshole!"

"Pokémon!"

"stupid face!"

"Idiot."

"Bonehead!"

"Loser."

Peter had a small picture of MJ appear in his mind.

"Well you're an absolute fucking walnut."

Harley gasped. "That's just crossing the line. You know what? Peter, I didn't want to say it, actually take that back I did, I do, here it is: I'm dads favourite."

Harley sniffed arrogantly and smirked, doing a long blink to bask in his victory. When he opened them again he saw Peter wasn't shouting obscenities or throwing screw drivers at his head; his shoulders were hunched and shaking. Harley got up instantly and felt guilt at what he said. He knew Peter had a close bond with tony and someone taking it away would literally kill him. Harley put a hand on his back.

"Pete? You alright? I'm sorry for what I said, dad loves you equally, I know that was a bit mean." Then as Peters shaking shoulders were detected as laughs, not sobs, Harley gasped loudly. "You made me apologize you little shit!"

Peter was caught, and lifted his head to show how hard he was laughing. "No," he giggled, his voice in a high pitch. "You called him dad!"

Peter descended into a fit of giggles as Harley stood taller, not a hint of embarrassment on his face. "Well, he is. I love that guy, even if he is annoying and overprotective; he's my dad." After Harley finished his very short speech, Peter slowly stopped giggling, using the table to stand properly.

"Whatever chubby cheeks."

Harley swatted away Peters pinching fingers.

When Tony got down from his room he spotted the Peter slumped against the working table, a leg thrown on the table for some reason and, downing his second breakfast of a Rice-Krispy bar, and Harley, who was seated facing him on the stained leather couch, eyeing the food suspiciously, focusing intently like he was tying to use the force the get it from Peters hands.

Tony had heard them, and said, "Um, watch your potty mouth, Peter." He had entered the lab after a few minutes they waited for him to change into his lab clothes. 

Harley let out a groan. "What tooook you so looong?"

"Pepper stopped me in my way to do something real quick."

"Stark!!!! MY EARS!!" Harley screeched. Tony went beet red.

"No you dirty minded fuck, she had me sign something! Get out of here! Scram! Off the couch!" He waved a hand in a 'Fucking move now kitty kitty or you'll be sat on' gesture and Harley stood slowly, straightened his shirt, brushed off his khaki shorts and then walked away, leaving Tony with a twitch in his eye.

"Harles! Smash the gopher!" Yelled Peter, and Harley gasped. It was code for bombard Tony with weird shit.

And why, would they do stuff like that? Well, they're bored. And why not?

So, Harley being so creative, grabbed a screwdriver and began running it through his hair like a comb, singing, "flower gleam and glow, let your power shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine, what—"

"Harles, shush. We all know you're a princess. You don't have to keep singing to prove it."

Harley pouted.

He glanced at Peter and Peter nodded, knowing Harley failed his turn. So, Peter crawled along the ceiling and jumped down quietly to under Tony's car that he'd been working on. So when Tony came over, mumbling about "stupid Gen-Z's", Peter got offended.

"Excuse you -stop screaming- Gen-Z's are your future! We are the ones who will either save the world or kill it!"

"Jesus fuck, Peter! Are you _trying_ to kill me with a heart attack? What the hell are you doing under there?"

"Plotting world domination and playing smash the gopher. Now I'd like to talk more about that comment you—"

"Get out."

"But—"

"Now." His voice was stern and Peter felt the tiniest pang of guilt. The tiniest.

Peter hung his head. "Sorry dad." He mumbled.

Tony softened. "It's okay Kid. Just try not to kill me anymore, Alright?"

_Yes! Fake shame and sadness worked!_

_Well, the sadness isn't fake._

_Heyyyy depression does help you out sometimes!_

Peter looked up after silently praising himself. "Yes sir."

Tony practically gagged. "You two are little menaces. You know that? _Denice the Menace!_ " He said in a singsong voice.

"Well I knew Harley was, because when you first introduced me to him you said just that." Peter said, earning a cry from Harley.

"He said I was a _menace?!"_

"Yes, because you are." Tony Said, a smug grin on his face.

" _OMG the Tony Stark talked about me?! I'm the luckiest lady in the world!"_ Harley squeals.

Tony sighs. Peter leans against the table beside the car, doing it on purpose to annoy Tony.

"Do you remember the first time we met?..." he said dreamily.

"How could I forget, darling?" Cooes Harley.

^^ **_[A/N] ^^ means flashback. Or dream._**

"If you're getting bullied at MIT, you gotta tell me, bud. I will end them. Got it?"

The boy who Tony is talking to squints and rolls his head. "How about... if it is happening, which it isn't... I'll subtly hint it."

"That way he knows something _hinky_ is goin on." Peter say, stepping forewords. The boy looks at Peter and so does Tony. "who's this?"

The boy starts talking before Tony can respond. "Is this your new pet? Did you loose the old hamster again? Did it die?" He sighs. Peter has no clue what the boy is talking about. "Do I need to start singing 'another one bites the dust'? Like seriously, you'd think the _Avengers_ could take better care of hamsters. But no. They all get lost. They all die. Then I have to sing that song. Like come on."

"Okay... first, did you just call Peter... a hamster? And my pet?"

"Yeah, what for?"

"Right." Tony nods. "Second, you do not _have_ to sing it every time _Clint_ looses another hamster pet, in fact he'd probably appreciate if you didn't since it makes him cry harder."

The boy clicks his tongue. "Not gonna happen."

"Third..." he sighs. "Harley, I want you to talk with Peter about stuff. Get to know him. He's very much like you, honestly, I think you two could be great friends."

Peter says, "I'm standing right here."

At the same time the boy -Harley- says, "ugh! Facebook mom alert!"

Peter grins. Harley notices it and smiles back.

"You." He points at Peter. "Petra."

"Peter."

He waves a hand. "Whatever. You, Are coming with me. We are going to explore the world together. Vamõs!" He grabs Peters wrist and pulls him towards the kitchen.

"All right Dora," He mutters.

^^  
  


"You guys are messed up." Tony mutters.

"You know you love it."

_"Admit it! There is nothing to be ashamed of!"_ Cries Harley dramatically.

Tony puckers his lips furiously.

_Why do they have to be so damn adorable? I can't even scold them right._  
  
\----------------------------------------

"Next we'll be seeing the Avengers training room!" Announced Angela, watching the whole class start chittering excitedly like Fox's at a bunny auction.

"And Lisa, Jamie, try not to get lost again this time please," commented Mr. Harrison tiredly.

"We didn't get lost you left us," Jamie muttered.

The long rectangular window was coming up on their left, and the door beside it. When they went closer and looked through the window, they saw something that they weren't really sure how to react to.

Black Widow and Hawkeye were sparring, Hawkeye going on defensive as Black Widow attacked. She smirked suddenly and the class watched as Hawkeyes face turned to sheer horror when he saw her smug expression, then she thigh choked him, twisting him to the ground and putting a knee on his back, pinning him to the ground.

Wanda and Vision were talking to each other by the weapon rack, and Iron Patriot, AKA War Machine, AKA Rhodey, was reading a WWII book, and you could vaguely see the Falcoln, throwing popcorn at Hawkeye, who was lying in the floor, panting and laughing, taking Black Widows hand when she offers it.

Suddenly the Avengers in there notice the open-mouthed group outside the window looking at them like they're Snakes that just started to sprout wings. They smile.

"Heya Peters class!" Said Natasha, and even though her smile was genuine, to the star-struck children it seemed awesome and dangerous at the same temps.

The tour guide, Angela, cleared their throat. "Did any of you get your waivers signed to partake in training with the Avengers?"

No one but one raised their hand.

Angela sighed. "Right. Because on the form it said 'participate in injury-risk activities' and 'we are not responsible for any maiming, broken limbs or physical injuries while in the premises' not 'train with Avengers.' Why am I surprised. Oh wait, I'm not."

They kids seemed down on not training with _the Avengers,_ but were at the same time relived they wouldn't quote on quote 'participate in injury-risk activities' and the other stuff.

"Don't worry, we'll see plenty of other cool things on the tour." She beckoned then, and a few hesitate at the window for a few seconds and- Wait, did they just see Captain America and the Winter Soldier kissing?  
  
\----------------------------

Harley held a screw in his mouth and a piece of metal with one hand, his prototype levitation boots in the other. "DUM-E, get a **_(idk a type of screwdriver)_** from Bucket: Mixed Berries," he ordered, and readjusted his grip to inspect his invention, then DUM-E gave him a screwdriver, and surprisingly this time it was the correct one.

"Good thing," Harley cooed. "Who's a good useless thing? You are, yes you're a good useless thing!" DUM-E was loving the praise, and trilled happily.

"It isn't a dog," Remarked Tony.

"Then it's a tamed wolf," he muttered. Tony heard him.

"Little shit," Tony muttered, smiling a bit.

Harley stuck his tongue out at him, dancing a bit to the rhythm of 'Funkytown'. "What about lunch?" He asks.

"What about it?"

"I'm huungryyyyy!"

"It's like 2:30, you should've eaten earlier! Now you won't be hungry for dinner and cake!" Scolds Tony.

"I'm gonna get some burrrittttoooooooosss!"

Tony chuckles. "If we have any."

And Harley walks out of the room doing a dance, humming "won't you take me to," and then yells at the top of his lungs, "FUNKYTOWN!"

The only noise in the lab once Harley left is from Peter muttering, "Where is it where is it where is it where is it?"

"Did you loose the web shooters again?" Tony sighed.

"No...?" he says a bit sheepishly.

Tony snorted. He bent down and grunted as he lied on the creeper and slides under the elevated car.

A sudden loud crash makes both of them scream.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! I didn't even see the box!" Tony and Peter look over and see Harley with apologetic smirk, somehow rocking arrogance _and_ being sorry at the same time in just an expression.

"Jesus Harley! You're gonna give me a heart attack!" Yells Tony, running a hand through his wild hair to calm his nerves.

Harley shrugs. "Oops."

"You boys are the reason I have grey hairs."

"Actually I believe it's from dealing with Clint." Harley points out.

"True."

"So did you get the burrito at least?" Asks Peter as Harley sits on the couch.

"No, but there were pizza pockets so—" he gasps. "I WAS SCARED OF PRETTY GIRLS AND STARTING CONVERSATIONS ALLL MY FRIENDS ARE TURNING GREEN..." and he kept singing until the song switched. Peter got the gist of what he was saying, and the fact Harley has Pizza Pockets on a plate that has Cinderella on it, the one that's _supposed_ to be reserved for Clints daughter, but apparently Harley has claimed it his for the time being.

Once the song 'Riptide' ended, Friday turned down the volume a few notches so they could talk. And so she wouldn't get so distracted while talking with Karen. They were on a date.

"Guysss all these songs are crap." Announced Harley loudly, just for the sake of complaining.

Tony, knowing well what the boy really meant by that, says, "do you want to do something like... two truths and a lie?"

Harley's face lit up. "Yes!"

"No," said Peter, his forearm burning from continuously twisting the screwdriver. "How about Truth or Dare?"

"Fine." Hissed Harley. "But that means you have to ask me it first."

Peter groaned. "Fine. Which one?" He starts punching his arm to get the blood flowing and flush out the lactic acid, a tactic he'd learned throughout the years of Spider-Man and training with the Avengers. Really you're supposed to roll your knuckles and massage it, but this was much more effective. At least for him.

"Sayyyyy ittt!" He hisses, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Truth or dare?"

"DARE!" He yelled, pumping his fists in the air.

From under the car, Tony rolls his eyes. Of course Harley chose dare.

"I dare you to... um..."

"Come on already!"

"Sorry it's kinda hard to think of stuff! Just give me a sec... ooh! I know, I dare you to give me 12% of your company."

It was the same as choosing 'or' in truth or dare.

"Oh come on! No stuff that benefits you! Plus you're inheriting the Stark Industries, so no way."

"W-What?" Peter sputters. By now Tony had picked up on the conversation and rolled out from under the car.

"Don't worry about it kid." Is all he said. Peter nodded, still a bit flustered, and very confused. But he shooed the confusion away.

"Okay, now give me a real dare. And a good one."

"Okay... I dare you..." he smirked evilly. "I dare you to sleep with Harry Osborn!"

Peter was rolling on the floor from laughing so hard, ignoring the cut on his arm from a screw that he got. Harley was not laughing. No.

He was cackling.

"I ACCEPT!"

"NO!" Yells Tony, panicked, from across the lab.

"And why not? It isn't like he won't accept," Harley states, crossing his arms.

"No sex until you're 20!"

"Do you prefer the word Shoop?" Peter says.

"No sex until you're 20." He repeats.

Harley clucked his tongue. "A little late for that..."

Tony went pale. 


	8. Let

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sTILL THE FIELD TRIP

"Dude! You're lying!"

"No I swear, me and Lisa are telling the truth! We were at the front desk because you guys left us—"

"We didn't leave, you two were just slow!"

"Whatever. And so we were at the front desk and Peter comes running out of the elevator to leap-frog over a kid with _the Tony Stark_ behind him, and then him and the kid ran off screaming at each other and Tony Stark was shaking his head _in disappointment!"_

"Lucky bastard. I'd pay a million to get him to even look at me, and he gets it for _free_ AND an emotion? Not fair."

"You guys don't really believe them, do you? Penis couldn't possibly know _Tony Stark_ it's impossible."

"And how do _you_ know that? I think you're just jealous."

"Are you losers going to keep bickering if Peter is actually in the tower or are you going to come with the tour and possibly see it for yourselves?"

There were some mutters Of agreement.

When the group turns, they find themselves not facing an angry Angela, but an angry Avenger.

"What did you just call Peter?" Growls Black Widow. Flash gulps and stammers a response.

"Um- I uh... P-Penis?"

Black Widow gets in a fighting stance. "You're a little assh—"

"Natasha!" Shouts Hawkeye, running down the hall. "Don't kill him!"

"Don't... kill me?"

Hawkeye stops in front of her, panting to catch his breath, so unlike when he's actually in a battle. "You-you can't-," he gasp for air, putting his hands on his knees. "Just... lemme... okay, I think... I think I'm good now." He stands and looks at her, starting over. "No killing minors. Or swearing in front of them. That includes calling one an asshole. Shit!" He yells suddenly, realizing he swore. "Fuck! Gah! I mean poop!"

Natasha sighs through her nose. "I wasn't going to _kill_ him—..."

Hawkeye points to the drawn blades in her hand.

"Whatever, Legolas. And I wasn't going to call him an _asshole._ "

"Oh really," He says In a sarcastic tone. "Then what _were_ you gonna call him?"

Black Widow pinches her lips. "Asshat," she mutters.

"Exactly!"

\----------------------

Peter examines the new web shooters and held them over his head like Rafiki with Simba after decreeing them usable. "It's alive!" He said in a ghoulish voice. Now all he needed to do was yeet it across the lab into a crowd of wild animals who are cheering somehow. 

"Do I need to cancel our reservations for your birthday tonight or will nothing kill us?" Sassed Tony

"Oh come onnnn that was one time!" Yelled Peter. "And you know I'd never make a Frankenstein! again," he added as an afterthought. "There's no way I'm going to dig up body parts from peoples graves. Why do you think we keep Harley over here around?"

"Um, rude. Second, true. I'm expendable," Harley sighed.

"Come on boys, we both know Peters the expendable one here."

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad how could you? I'm so depressed, my mentor, idol and own father says he'd get rid of me. How can I live with myself?" Peter cries and crumbles to the ground, a hand still over his forehead.

"Another father, gone. Whatever shall we do?!" Sighs Harley dramatically and fake faints, joining Peter on the floor. It created quite the spectacle.

Peter tosses his limbs into a pained and farced position, a hand over his forehead. "Die, I suppose."

Tony hides his smile when Peter and Harley called him dad and father. "You can live by cracking open the new special-made jelly beans that were reserved for your birthday, today." He said smoothly.

Peter squealed. "Where! Wherewherewherewherwwjereewjeewjerwjqejw!" He jumps in Tony's hunched back, taking the older man by surprise.

"Maybe you don't need anymore sugar." He muttered sarcastically but loud enough for Peter and Harley to hear.

"WHERE ARE THE FUCKING GLUCOSE BALLS-SHAPED KIDNEYS GIMME GIMME!" Peter screamed, panting and wide eyed at the mention of candy and he might not get any.

Tony raised his eyebrows in protest. "Um, first of all, ow, second, they're in Cupboard: #SugarHigh where the Cheetos are, jeez kid."

Peter scampers off screeching like a crow. Tony is too used to it to be confused.

Harley perked up at the mention of Cheetos. "I want sum Cheesy Cheetos gimme gimme."

Tony shook his head and rubbed his temple, muttering "when do they merge."

Then a high pitched and not uncommon scream came from the other room followed by a smash of glass. Then Bambi swore. "Fuck a nugget chicken shitting dog ass horse fucking hell!"

Tony looked up and saw the Peter sitting on the floor surrounded by spilled jellybeans, clutching his foot that seemed unharmed. Peter was also crying. Tony walked over with a smug grin.

"Oh no baby did you spill your candy?" He teased.

Peter pouted and nodded, sobbing and holding his foot. Tony drew his eyebrows together in mild concern and absolute amusement at his idiocy.

"What happened?"

"I s-stub-bed m-my toooooooee!" He cried and tony mock pouted, picking Peter up and carrying him to the stained couch, sighing in exasperation.

"Peter god dammit you literally get stabbed and break your arm and wave it off but when you stub your toe you start to sob?"

Peter curls his knees to his stomach, pouting at tony. "I also spilt my candies."

Tony rubbed his temples yet again and went back to his lonely wrench. Soon after Peter went back to being an evil scientist with aggressive intentions, being aggravated at his candy loss from earlier. And damaged pride.

Tony started to get worried when it was silent.

"Pete have you seen Harles?"

Peter looked around their lab, peering under the table and under a manual in case he was hiding there. But no Harley was in sight.

"No, what is he doing? Dada bear, prepare for injuries."

If Harley wasn't in the lab somewhere then it meant he was being left unsupervised, and as tony already knew, they should never leave him or Peter or both of them (especially if they're together- that's just a disaster) alone in a hazardous place. Or a non-hazardous place. Or any place, really.

Suddenly Harley screamed from the other part of their lab, "FRI PLAY STAYIN ALIVE!"  
the song started to blast on the speakers as the top of Harley's golden hair appeared at the stairs leading to this part of the lab. Suddenly there was a crash as Harley came in faceplanting as his prototype levitating boots stopped functioning. In his attempt to break his fall, he has tried to grab onto the table but ended up accidentally making a big piece of sharp metal fall in his arm, making a deep cut.

"Ohmygod Harles are you alright?" Exclaimed Peter, rushing over to him and crouching beside Harley, who groaned and winced as he tried to use his arm.

Peter looked at his arm and the bloody metal piece, somehow finding it frickin hilarious and started laughing as Tony picked up yet another boy and brought him to the same couch Peter was on a few minutes on, frantically worrying about Harley while Harley had tears on his face from the pain but was laughing anyway at how ridiculous tony got when one of them got hurt really badly, and how Peter was crying on the floor from laughing so hard. They were a family. A dysfunctional and teasing one, but they were together.

Having a piece of metal that cut your forearm is counted as a Semi-serious injury, not like a stubbed toe, so of course, Tony was treating it like Harley lost a limb.

"Peter! Stop fucking crying and get the first aid kit from Cabinet: Uh-Oh You Fucked Up!"

Peter peeled himself off the floor, random laughs escaping him, and he wiped his eyes and went to get the kit. Harley's laughing has turned into wincing as Tony touched his arm to bring it to his eye level and turning it angles.

He let out a visible sigh of relief. "You'll be alright Huns, it isn't in too too deep. Not the worst injury you've ever had."

"But you're still gonna fix it, right?" He asked uncertainly, his lip trembling convinvingly.

Tony's face scrunched together. "Well..."

Peter came back with the kit right as Harley let out a cry of disbelief. "You're not going to fix my arm!? I'll die!"

"No, Harley, you won't." Said Tony matter-of-factly. A small smile played on his lips, most of his worries gone since the metal piece only pierced his skin and didn't cut into any veins or arteries. "Plus now you'll teach yourself how to finally do first aid. Since you didn't attend that class I so generously payed for you," He teased.

Harley pouted. "I can't even believe it. You're so rude. Making me do it on my own—" he got an idea and grinned like a maniac. "Oh Petey Boo!" He called.

"Fucking call me that again and you'll find yourself dead in a ditch somewhere." Grumbled Peter. 

"Better than dead in a public restroom," Said Harley, pointing at Peter. Peter pointed back and they went "Heyyyyyy" at the same time. Tony sighed and stood. You'd think he'd be used to it by now.

"So..." started Harley as he wiped the thin stream of blood trailing down his arm, and the blood on the cut. "Owewwweeee Peter how do you do this all the time?" He squeaked.

Peter had his tongue between his teeth, sticking out of his mouth as he was intently focused on fixing his web shooters, that when he touched with the screwdriver suddenly sparked and he dropped them to the ground. "Gah! It shocked me!"

"Not surprising," mutters Tony.

Peter ignores it. "And to answer your question Hurly Harley-" he dodged a pillow "-I'm not sure."

Harley sighs. "The answer was you said you don't and you're just a hologram. Or optical illusion."

The other two snorted.

"Or am I a ghost?" Peter muttered quietly.

"So, since I'm incapacitated for the time being," Harley says loudly, speaking to everything in the lab so he's heard, "Let's gossip."

Tony groans. "If you are going to talk about How you aren't a virgin anymore, please, don't, and save it for Harry or whatever. I _really_ don't wanna hear it."

"Then how about we hear about _your_ first time?" Suggests Peter, a smug grin at the billionaires squirm.

"Um, no—"

"Then I'll go first!" Says Harley. He starts speaking before Tony can object again. "So, it was a cold December, snowing heavily, I was shivering, 'my' car had broken down. The only place I could find that wasn't inside 'my' vehicle was a small gas station. So I walked up and opened the door, and the warm air hit me like a fire. And the only other person there was this really hot babe. So I walk up to her and ask if I can stay the night because 'my' car broke—"

"Okay I've heard enough. More than enough." Tony is trying his best not to vomit. Harley ignores him.

"And suddenly, the lights go out and so does the warmth. So we find each other in the dark, and it's super cold. So what could you expect us to do? We—"

"Stop it! Stopstopstopstop! Please, you're going to make me vomit the shrapnel in my chest." He pants.

"I thought you had a surgery to remove them?" Says Peter. Tony stares at him, then to Harley.

"This story is making them come back and kill me again."

"Anyway," continues Harley, ignoring the strangled cry from the oldest. "Long story short, we did It on the 'buy two get one free' jumbo freezie sign. So. Who wants to go next?"

Tony was forever haunted.

************************

The class start to shush each other as Angela turns to them, putting on a tour guide smile.

"Next we will be going to Exhibit: Clint. Or Hawkeye as you may know him."

"Why is it called Clint?" Asks Cindy, raiding her hand.

Angela smiles. "That's a good question! See, if you have been paying attention, the places we've visited so far have been labelled after different Avengers, or people. The last one we went to, the training room, was labelled 'Lang', because Scott Lang, also known as Ant-Man, needs training. You see... Mr. Stark has quite a sense of humour. That is why this next exhibit, is for fails."

The class was roaring with laughter.

She leads them all through a door where they spend 30 minutes looking at failed inventions.   
  
\------------

"Stark is so going to get it later," growls Clint in the vents. He looks across to Natasha, who gives him a look.

"And what are you going to do Clarissa? Threaten him with a bagel?"

"Shut it!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

" _Don't tell me what to do!"_ He mocked in a high pitch.

"That's it-" Natasha tackles him to the bottom of the vents, then sees the grate underneath him and does the only reasonable thing. She punches it open and pushes Clint down it. He yells on the way down, and lands on a kid with a red shirt, the others in the group screaming at the sudden drop.

"You're so going to get it!" He screams after her, tears in his eyes as Nat simply snickers, crawling away in the vents to plot Hawkeyes next loss.

'0w0'

"Alright, sooo next we're going to see is Tony Stark's private lab, and I'd like to remind all of you before we continue the waivers you signed read you are not allowed to spill what they're working on."

A girl raised her hand. "They?"

"Yes, Tony Stark And his... ah... assistant."

Flash laughed. "So he does have an assistant! Guess it proves Peter was lying!"

Angela frowned, but kept talking and explaining. 

"So you are not allowed to take any photos, videos or physical evidence of what you will see or you could be in a lot of trouble by Tony Stark. I'd like to remind you that _he_ was the one that gave you all permission to see what you're about to see, and... well you'll know why. Now, what you are about to see is classified, so you are not allowed to share any of the information you will be exposed to. You all signed waivers before coming saying the exact same thing. So you've had your warning. _Do not take a picture or video._ Got it?" She said, and the class looked a bit afraid of what she's meaning. They all nod nonetheless.

"What are we going to see?" Jamie says to Lisa, who shrugs.

"Hope it doesn't kill us." Is all she said. " _Hope it doesn't..._ kill us." She repeated under her breath, then slightly sighs. Jamie nodded in agreement at her silent wish.

"You are all teenagers." Angela starts to speak again. "So I assum -and hope- you are old enough to understand our rule of not using your phone. Am I correct?"

The class nods.

"She just called Mr. Harrison a teenager," Whispers Abe with a undertone of humor.

"Shh."

The teens and Mr. Harrison all avoid touching their phone, even brushing it with their fingers as some sort of safety measure, like she'd catch them touching it and escort them to a meat grinder for humans or something.

Well... All except Flash.  
  


~~~~(He's going to the meat grinder)~~~~~~~  
  


"Hey Poutine, put on Shakira 'hips don't lie'" said Harley.

"You got it dipwad." Said FRIDAY.

Peter snickered.

"Hey!" Exclaimed Hadley, speaking to Friday but directing it at Peter.

"That's what you get for putting an air horn as my alarm clock last month."

Harley snorts. "That is like, one of the oldest tricks in the book. It's literally somewhere close behind toothpaste in Oreos and whoopsie cushions. Also, seriously? dipwad? Even Steeb could come up with something better than that."

Peter scoffed. "Whatever old man."

At that moment, Tony rolled out from under the car, wiping his hands on the grease stained rag.   
"Are you guys talking about me again?" He asked with a sad face.

Peter spun to Harley and started speaking in a very girly voice. "OMG did like, see dad today? I mean, grease stains on your left cheek are like so yesterday,"

Tony rolled his eyes but the boys would not give up the joke until they did. "I know right? I can't eve believe like I can't even," copies Harley. Before continues he cuts himself off. "THIS IS THE GOOD PART EVERYONE SHUTP!"  
It was silent for five seconds while they waited for the chorus that Harley deemed 'the good part'.

"OOH BABY WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT! YOU MAKE A WOMAN GO MAD!" Scream-sung Harley, totally off time with the song. Tony had peered out from under the car so he could watch Harley sing, hair flopping in his face and all around, young and smiling as he wiggles in the tightly wrapped burrito blankets that swaddled him, the ones Tony's done. In that moment, Tony felt complete, smiling softly at Harley and Peter who were like brothers to each other and sons to him.

"Poutine, turn it up twenty." Said Harley.

"You got it haighley."

The song started blasting from the speakers and Peter scooted around the lab, dancing and swaying his exposed hips a bit as Harley kept singing with the song. When it got to the Spanish part, him and Peter both spoke over each other and tried to sing it in Spanish the fastest as Tony just snorted at them but found himself quirking his hips to the song.

Tony bent down to get a fallen wrench, and when he stood up he heard Harley chanting, "DANCE DANCE DANCE!"

And, "WHY?"

"BECAUSE THE SONG"

"KAYKAY!"

Tony groaned. Peter had his shirt unbuttoned so his chest and stomach was exposed, so when he started doing the sprinkler it flapped everywhere.

In Tony's sigh at their idiotic ness, and slight amusement, he heard Harley scream "DANCE MONKEY! DANCE!" And Peter falling on the floor from laughing as Friday turned the song down s few notches.

"Kiddies, what have I told you about stripping in the lab?" Tony joked as Peter picked himself up off the Floor.

"That only you're allowed to?"

Tony stuck his tongue out st the boy and the boy stuck out his tonge back.

"You know, you're all sarcastic little shits that are the equivalent of those scratchy blankets in a closet that appeared out of nowhere and make your life miserable."

Peter grins and says, "love you too dad."

While Harley yells "Fuck you!"

And Friday says I'm Steve's imitated voice, "language."

Tony grumbles "damn youthes." and turns back to his work, picking up the wrench.

"Ya know, you'd think tony would've accepted us as his baby locusts by now and we're gettin' weirder and weirder by the second." Harley said.

Tony glanced up. "I do. My pride and joy, my life my light, you're both my baby locusts. I love you both." Tony clapped a hand over his heart and made a pained expression. 

Harley made an 'awwwwww' sound while Peter was in the Forest, gathering wild jelly beans and came back with handfuls and mouthfuls of them, and he was just starting to vibrate from a sugar high as he whipped the Cheetos at Harley who cursed at him, then backflippsd and landed on the table, saying, "hey Fri play dNcing queen. And put that moment to Dad Is My Puta, saves for He Totally Loves Me."

"Will do Albus Perceval Wolfrick Brian Dumbledore."

As soon as dancing queen was playing, Peter was dancing lik Monica's imitation of Chandler dance and lots of hip moving on the metal tables, earning wolf whistled from Harley.

"'CAUSE YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN!" Sung Peter from on top of the table, using a screwdriver as a microphone. "YOUNG AND SWEET!"

"Pete!" Tony shouted But was over peered by the speakers and Peter singing at the top of his lungs.

"ONLY 17!"

Then Peter stopped and turned to tony. "Wassup?"

"Rock music. Now. Not what gets played at a summer camp."

"Kk luv u bae :3" he said with a wink and changed the song, on a very bad sugar high. Tony prepared for five minutes in advance when Peter would be crawling and swinging from the ceiling playing 'Chandelier' by Sia and possibly breaking another bone.

The song Umberella by Rihanna Started playing, a song that made Peter gasp and begin to dance violently, as Tony put his head in his hands and showed his disappointment that a genius, son of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts at age 15, could dance and do pirouettes. But secretly, he was smiling.

Since Harley was, as he put it, incapacitated, and Peter was very hyper, not long after they changed the music again at Tony's request (or demand, more like it) Peter was playing air guitar to 'The Night Begins To Shine' by B.E.R.

"Pete!" Tony shouted But was over powered by the speakers and Peter screaming in rage "PLAYIN HARD TO GET! I CANT UNDERSTAND!" along with the lead singer at the top of his lungs.

So Tony speaks for himself. "Fri, play Nirvana shuffle."

"Yes Mr. Dad."

_He hacked into Fridays mainframe and changed the system names again, didn't he._ Tony thought.

_Genius._

For about 6 seconds of Peter adjusting to the song, sliding across the floor and making guitar noises and sliding across the room on his knees doing a solo, his goggles over his eyes as he continue to work on the web shooters, pausing his singing to yelp at the shooters when they gave him a small shock, Tony notices something in the corner of his eye and smirks. Time for his great reveal plan to prove Peter isn't lying.

"Fri music off."

"Yes boss dad." Tony once again sighed. When the music cut off abruptly, Peter looked at tony.

"Why'd you do that? I was totally vibing and showing off my good moves." He pretends to be in a photo shoot, the lab-made sugar jelly beans that were specifically created for someone with enhanced metabolism like Peter, altering his sense of when something is serious or not.

"Peter!" He said in an exasperated I'm-your-dad-And-you're-in-trouble-mister tone.

"Yeah Padre?" He asked and ignored Harley's comments and demands for more dancing as his last request before he dies.

"You have an audience."

"So why haven't You thrown roses on me? You have money. Shower me with roses!" He yells and looks up at the ceiling with his arms out waiting to be rained on.

"No kid, I mean you have an AUDIENCE."

Peter got up from his knees, making a comment on the cracks, and looked where Tony pointed at and froze with his mouth dropped.

"Shit."

"Bambino no swearing."

Because behind the glass window, stood the Peters class, staring with open mouths, noses, and eyes, watching Tony Stark, Harley Keener and Peter Parker act so domestically it hurt their eyes.

And the one phone that was uploading a video onto the internet. The one phone no one noticed.

Harley was cackling. "You're screwed!" 

And he was absolutely right. Peter was screwed. But Tony, was satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOOooohOohohohHhoooHHhOhoohhHHhooh


	9. You

"You're screwed!" Harley yelled as Angela beckoned them to continue following her. 

And the class did, reluctantly, but eventually, they shuffled after Angela, and Lisa and Abe were at the back carrying Jamie, who had fainted.

Lisa had a murderous expression, unlike everyone else in the class, because she did not want to be carrying her stepbrother during a tour with the Avengers. He was so going to hear about this later. It took all she could not to just drop him and leave, so instead she just cussed under her breath and said, "You're so fricken gay."

The class advanced down the white-painted halls, mostly just whispers and squeaks, but of course, one person had to break it.

"Okay, what the fuck?"

...... ** _Time skip, Harley and Peter are still working in the lab ....._**

"So... Peter... What do you want for your birthday?" Harley asked. Peter narrowed his eyes at him.

"Why are you asking? Are you gonna get me a present!?!" He said with excitement, like it was a surprise or wish that could come true. Harley looked at him weirdly.

"Of course I am, did you expect me not to?"

Peter just shrugged.

Harley rubbed his forehead, colouring it orange from the cheetos. Peter stiffled the gigle behind his hand. Harley of course saw it, and frowned. "What? Why are you laughing at me?"

"Orange head," Peter giggled, then let out a laugh he couldn't contain any longer. While Harleys eyes went wide as Peter words dawned on him, all Peter was thinking was _I'm so screwed_ and _oh well._

It'll be fine, he decides.

Once his laughter is under control and Harley's forehead is more or less rid of the cheese dust, Harley asks again, "Seriously though, what do you want?"

Peter stops tinkering to think aout it. "Um, really just to spend it with my family. With everyone I love, dad, mum, everone, you, ya big goof," He says with a grin. Then it fades and he answers honestly again. "I'm just so lucky to be spending it with you and everyone, I couldn't ask for a better family, or a better present. You guys are all I need."

And Before Harley can reply on how sappy that was, they heard a little sobbing noise at the other side of the lab. Frowning at each other, they silently agreed to go investigate. What they found was certainly not what they expected. 

Instead of a Hydra agent, or sneaky intern, or a malfunctioning DUM-E, they found something worse, yet so, so so much better; Tony Stark, the genius Billionaire Philanthropist, _the_ Iron Man, was crying on the floor, in the center of the lab, a screwdriver in one hand and his other supporting his head.

Peter raised his eyebrows. It was something Peter had gotten used to over his year here, seeing Tony cry in his lab over a failed project or when he got panic attacks or guilt wormed it's way into his mind again; but this was still a bit of a shock, especially since he was full-on sobbing and didn't even pretend to notice Harley and Peter entered the area.

"Um... dad are you alright?" Peter asked, hesitantly. For some reason, this made Tony cry even more. The boys stood awkwardly beside each other, both waiting for Tony to respond, which he doesn't.

Harley was looking down at him with high brows too. "Uh... Stark? Dad? Why're you crying?"

"Y-you're both- both- I love you guys too!" He cried and picked himself up off the floor, wiping his red and splotchy face before wrapping his arms around Peter and Harley into a bear hug. Harley glances at Peter for help, but Peter was grinning and gave him an 'oh well' shrug, and decided to just go with it. Harley rolled his eyes and hugged Tony for a second before pulling away and clearing his throat.

"That was..."

"Unexpected," 

"Interesting."

"Amusing."

"And..." continues Peter. "You were... crying because of I said?"

Tony just nodded and wiped his eyes as his face returned to normal shade.

Harley pinches his lips, nodding awkwardly. "Oookay then." Then He smirks suddenly. He does the Harley smirk.

Tony recognized that expression and what it means and immediately scowled at the boy. "And if you tell anyone I cried because of that then you're grounded. Same goes for you, kid." He points to Peter, who holds up his hands defensively.

"Coolio, that's all fine. No need to get feisty."

They were quite the trio, one fucked up dad and two fucked up sons who all cried for each other affections but teased the others constantly, sassing more than a VSCO girl would do. And while they loved each other, there were just some things that weren't worth having leaked, then getting teased about it by the Avengers and Pepper for weeks on end, like the Fiasco that just happened. 

So when Tony told them all to get back to 'Starking' (which Peter and Harley voices their opinions on the made-up verb- all negative comments), and to never mention what happened again, they conceded, and went to work on their own projects until dinner.

And Peter had no idea that Tony's present would be so sweet, and Harleys so, so dangerous.

\-----------

"What's for dinner?" Harley jogs into the kitchen after smelling the brain-melting aromas that floated like a cloud into his room, and he chose to check it out and see if he could see what it is and if he can manage to steal a piece.

Unfortunately, Peter was at the table. He heard Harley, and said, "Jacques!" (An inside joke about Jacques Cartier)

"Sorry I don't speak French!"

They both started laughing their asses off as the noticed adult in the room looked at them weirdly.

"If you want help learning French I can share how I started learning it in grade school-" Rhodey offers.

"I'm goo—"

Rhodes ignores and starts to sing. "Un éléphant qui se balancait sur une toile toile toile, toile d'arrignée—"

"Oh my god is Rhodey singing?" Tony says with a grin, walking into the kitchen area. 

Rhodey just huffs and grumbles "Shut up."

At that, Bucky pops up from behind the kitchen counter, much like a prarie dog, and gives Rhodey a glare. "Steve doesn't like mean words." And Even though he's wearing a pink apron with Winnie The Pooh and Eyore on it, with some undecipherable cursive words, he still manages to look threatening.

"I know," Rhodey grits out. "He says it ever day."

Bucky ignores Rhodey and looks at Harley, who's trying to peer over Bucky's broad frame, his face scrunched up and making gruntung noises when he gets onto his knees. Tony instinctively moves a little closer and keeps his hands ready to catch him if he falls.

Bucky gives Harley a smile. "This isn't dinner, it's cookies." 

Peer and Harley gasp and both plants their hands on the counter at the same time, doing the creepy thing where they finish each others sentences. 

"Chocolate--"

"Chunk--!?"

"And--" 

"Caramel!?" They finish together. They stare at him with the intensity of three thousand sons.

Bucky squirms, very uncomfortable while they're not blinking. 

"Um... Y-Yes...?"

It was like a gun went off. Peter screamed, causing Tony to yell "Jesus!" and slap a hand to his cold, cold heart, Distracting him. They were practised in the art of theivery by now. 

That's also why at that exact moment Tony had a heart attack, they convinced Clint to drop a Stuffy (He refused to give up Ellie) on Rhodey, confusing him.

Meanwhile, Harley literally jumped from the stool and onto the counter, tackling Bucky to the ground as he yelled "GO GO GO!" at Peter, who ran around the island and stole the cookie tray, and before anyone could catch them they were running down the hall, giggling like crazy as The Winter Soldier chased them.

But alas, they escaped, and locked themselves inside Peter's room, cackling and sucking in the marvelous smells that came with the warm and perfect cookies.

The smell of victory.

Clint, who was in on the plan, made a 'psst' sound from the vents in Peters room. Harley and Peter stooped Lunatic-ing instantly and looked up with a jerk like dogs when they hear a bark.

"Who's there?" Harley snaps. More grunting was heard from the vents and they stare at it, waiting, again doing the creepy thing where they don't blink.

"Hej misstag it's me."

Harley and Peter sigh, giving each other a look, because it's Clint, and he wants payment.

"When did you learn Swedish?" Harley asks. Peter looks at him and frowns.

"When did _you_ learn Swedish?"

"Duolingo."

"Oh."

"I'm still here," Clint calls, louder than the last times he's spoken. Peter sighed.

"Yes, unfortunately."

"Hey!" Clint cries. Then he huffs. "You boys are little assholes. Now give me my pay and I'll leave you alone."

"Ah ah ah," Peter tuts. "Say the magic sentence."

Clint groans. "Guys really?"

"Say it!" Harley snaps, demanding like a mean prince.

_"'You are the champions, and will always be the champions._ '"

"Now say please."

"please can I have my cookies?"

There it is. That's it. That's what they wanted to hear.

They wanted to hear him _beg._

Peter and Harley smirk at each other. Time to abuse their power.

What they do, is Peter gets up and sits in his leather spinney chair, pretending to be a villain, and Harley looks at the tray of cookies, choosing the biggest, roundest cookie, the one with the most chocolate chips, and bites it slowly, then moans loudly at the taste to put on a show.

"Mmm this is so _good!_ Ohh, Peter you have to try one, here," He gives one to Peter, who takes a bit, staring at the vent the whole time as he agrees, saying,

"So good, Uncle Clint, these are amazing!" He stretches out the words for effect, and it sure gets one.

"Guys, we had a deal, come on!" Clint whimpers. "I need my cookies!"

Peter, ignoring Clint, looks over at Harley with sudden interest. "You know, Har,"

Harley looks at him too politely to be natural. "Hmm?" he hums.

"Guyssss." Clint whines, again being ignored.

"Do you think," Peter drawls, and for unknown reasons, starts speaking in a british accent. "That we could go to the farmers market to pick some beans so Pa can make us supper?"

Harley, catching on to Peters Laura Ingalls theme, replies, "Of course, _Mary,_ all the town boys will be there. Just imagine," He stands up and starts to looks off like he's thinking of something wonderful. "It will be grand, don't you agree?" He copies Peters british accent, looking down at him with a delighted face. 

This is all just an act. An act to piss Clint off. And it's working.

Peter joins Harley standing up, and they put their hands in a gentle high-five, but leave them together so it looks like they're about to square dance. "I so do! We should go right away if we want to get home before dark!"

Harley grins like a maniac. "Let's go!" 

Peter puts on a worried face. "But first we must take care of the rodent in the vents, don't you agree?"

"No, no guys we had a deal! This isn't fair!" Clint yells, catching on that they're about to leave him.

Harley, ignoring Clint, says, "I do agree. What shall we do about it?"

"We shall take the cookies in the pockets of our dress and use them to make Uncle give us stuff!"

Harley does his wicked smile, Peter doing the same. "A wonderful idea."

So they take the cookies and stuff as many as they can into their pockets. Clint watched in the vents, each cookie shoved into their dirty pockets felt like he lost on of his children. 

When they had finished, all that was left was one cookie, and they looked down at it and Peter picked it up.

"What will we do with this one Herbivore?" He said.

"Herbivore?"

"Ve-Gan." Peter mocked, moving his head to the side with each syllable.

"That's rude. What if I were to call you 'Omnivore'?"

"Then you'd be lying."

"Okay sorry, I meant 'Carnivore'?"

"You'd be lying again."

Harley was quiet for a moment trying to figure out what he meant. Peter answered for him. "I'm a cookievore."

They both laughed and Peter decided that he'd break the cookie in half. He handed Harley a piece. "here, we share."

"No!" Clint cried.

"One..." Harley started.

"Two..."

"Three..."

Harley put it in his mouth and Peter cried a protest. "What are you doing? We go on 'GO!'!!"

Harley frowned. "No is effwus eng fee!" He mumbled, cookie bits flying out of his mouth as he tried to eat and talk at the same time. 

"Ew! You got some crumbys from your mouth onto my cookie!" Peter said in sorrow. 

"Sorry," Harley shrugged. He wasn't sorry at all.

Clint, who despite his annoyance and sadness, was still their uncle, and he'll be damned if he doesn't teach them propper manners. "Harles, say it, don't spray it."

And that apparently was his lesson for them.

Peter huffed and walked over to the vents. "You know what Uncle Clint? You can have this. Take my scraps." He slides the cookie into the vents and as soon as it's in all you could hear were sucking and munching noises. Peter raised his eyebrows. "Damn Uncle Clint, how hungry _are_ you?"

"Considering you're keeping me hostage in the vents," Clint said between bites. "Very." 

Peter just grinned.

"So Brother are we going to town to get fresh food?" Harley asked, and Peter was glad to know he wasn't spitting cookie bits everywhere.

"Yeah, but dad won't let us go without a body guard. So we won't be going alone."

"Actually," Clint intervened, still in the vents. Peter rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Your dad wanted to take you out, I can't tell you where and why, but it's for your birthday. So he's gonna go with you."

That just made Harley and Peter cackle. 

"He's so screwed!" Peter says between breaths. 

Oh, the fun of being the sons of a billionaire.


	10. Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PETERS BIRTHDAY IS IN EARLY DECEMBER because im an idiot

One little thing they'd forgotten was there was no farmers market open at this time of year. Harley was bummed, of course, wanting to get fresh foods for salad and to make dinner. And then there was Peter, who was still his happy self.

"Harles that means when we get back we can have hot chocolate! Or while we're there!"

Peter was walking backwards, skipping beside Harley to try and cheer him up even though Harley wasn't sad.

When they made their way into the kitchen where they assumed Tony was, Nat had joined the group of 3 (Rhodey, Bucky, and Tony) and was drinking some water, watching Bucky munch on peanuts furiously. If that was even possible. Basically he was just glaring at the dishwasher and savagely shoving peanuts into his mouth.

When he saw Peter and Harley enter the kitchen he puckered his lips and tried to ignore them. Natasha's eyes glimmered in amusement over her cup of water, watching him sulk.

"Dad," Peter said, skipping to Tony's stool. "Can we go to the store to get some fresh food and stuff?"

Convincing Tony to go to the stores with them was easy. Getting him to allow them to bring 10 cookies each in their pockets was not.

"Please! Clint will take them, and I'm hungry!" Peter whined.

"So hungry!" Harley added.

"No." Is all Tony said.

Harley and Peter pouted and gave him puppy eyes. Tony clenched his jaw. No. He refused to give in. No, their puppy eyes aren't even that... No! Don't look don't look...

"Fine!" He breathed, throwing up his hands. Harley and Peter high-fived.

While Tony made texted Pepper and Happy letting them know he was going out, Peter and Harley raced each other to the car in the garage. Neither of them ended up in shotgun, deciding they wanted to sit together and talk in languages that don't exist just to annoy their dad.

And it definitely worked.

But there was no reason for Tony to have gotten embarrassed. They had finished all the cookies they brought with them in the car, and crumbs now littered the floor. Tony was oblivious, and to make sure it stayed that way they brushed the crumbs off their pants and then used their hands to wipe the cookie bits underneath the seat on the car floor.

Once the garage door had opened, Peter and Harley gasped and started exclaiming things together, while Tony was blinded by the sudden white, and smiling endlessly. The world was layered in snow. Everywhere, a foot deep of white -hopefully fluffy- except the road where Tony is about to pull out into. Not only was there snow on the ground, but it was also in the air everywhere, fat snowflakes falling slowly from the grey sky, and for some weird and unexplainable reason they seem _happy._ Like the snow everywhere was content and everything is smiling and jolly and peaceful and excited; much like what inside the car with Harley, Peter and Tony was.

Peter and Harley didn't waste any longer. They jumped opened the car giggling and laughing with joy and ran out to the center of the cul-de-sac, twirling around with their arms out and laughing with huge smiles that stay on their cheeks.

Their cheeks sting and the cold air the gets sucked under their arms as they twirl makes them shiver, but it is so worth it.

"This is amazing!" Peter yells and Harley can't help but agree. Harley is so overwhelmed, because in Tenessee they have more of a crisp and brittle type of winter, with gritty snow, not this type of sticky and fluffy type; he's exhilarated up to the point where he isn't thinking, and sprints to the edge of the cul-de-sac and leaps, doing a twist in the air and falling straight onto his back, cradled in the snow that melds his form.

"Dad you gotta come'n feel the snow!" Peter yells at Tony, who has gotten out of their car and watches Peter push snow together to make a snowball. He gasps when it instantly sticks, then grins, picking it up.

Harley, who was lying contentedly in his snow-bed, his eyes closed and slowly feeling the snow melt and drench his pants and wet his hair, had no clue that Peter was approaching.

Tony was watching as Peter jumped straight into the air while doing so raising the snow above his head and emitting a war cry, then throw it down so it crashes against Harley's chest, and Peter falls into the snow beside him.

Peter sinks so low into the snow Tony gets worried for an instant because he can't see Peter. But then Peter jumps up, pumping his fists in the air smiling and whooping in victory. But his triumph is soon cut short when Harley tackles him to the ground and starts to grab handfuls of snow and smush it onto Peters's face.

Five minutes later they were all warm from their bodies adjusting to the temperature and soaking wet, laughing as they got into the car.

Peter was sucking on some snow in his mouth, making it cold and refreshed, as he said, "So where are we going?"

Tony started up the engine again and started driving. "Well, it's up to you. There is only one place I want to bring you guys, but it's a surprise. So where do you kids wanna go?"

"Just for your information," Harley started arrogantly. "I am 17 and 8 months, I am not a _child._ " He turned to Peter. "This midget here though is."

Peter opened his mouth in shock and accusation, revealing a piece of snow that's been made into ice. "Hey!" The word sounded very mumbly because his mouth was going a bit numb.

"Well you're still that little boy with a potato gun to me," Tony said with a hint of fondness.

"Well!" Harley exclaimed, trying to stand his ground. He was held the 'll' for longer than necessary as he tried to think of a retort. "Well... UGH! What-ever old man. At least I had a potato gun, all you had were bruises and enough anxiety to fill your mansion."

"Why do you think rich people need mansions? It's the only living space big enough to fit our egos," Tony said grinning. "And aren't you forgetting something?"

Harley rolled his eyes and huffed. "Okay, you also had a broken Iron Man suit, but compared to what I had," He made a 'pfshh!' noise. "nothing."

Tony nodded smugly. He does the Rhodey nod. He was proud of his kids.

The streets of New York were bustling with people bundled in Parkas and tuques or earmuffs, teenagers walking with their group of friends and parents with their children, all doing some Christmas shopping, or just wandering around aimlessly to observe how beautiful the streets of New York look like during December, and enjoying the heavy snowfall they got last night.

The buildings that were everywhere all had Christmas decorations, some of them even lit up, and the billboards that were set flashed advertisements for Christmas toys. New York at Christmas was the best.

Peter and Harley had their faces smushed against the cold window to take a full view of the streets.

"Wooaaahhhhhh" Peter breathes. Tony chuckles, glancing at them in the rearview mirror.

"I can't wait to kill you with snowballs," Harley says, still looking up at the skyscraper that has lights that make Santa with his sleigh appear.

"Yeah." Peter replies, still staring dumbfoundedly out the window. After a few more seconds of trying to get his head in the right angle, he rolls down the window and is greeted by a gust of cold wind.

"Woah! What're you doing!?" Tony butts in, taken by surprise.

" M' trying to look aroun' better." Peter sticks his head fully out the window, looking around. The car had stopped at a red light where a hundred people were crossing in a hurry.

"You look like a dog," Harley grinned, now wanting to do the same because it looked cool, but also really tempted to push on Peters back so he falls out the window.

"Well maybe I am." Peters's voice sounds slightly muffled, due to the wind and facing away from who he's trying to speak to, forgetting his manners.

"What type of dog?" He asked with an eyebrow raised, interested. Tony couldn't stop an eye roll.

"mmm.... well, dad is a Chihuahua, you can be a Golden Labrador Retriever, and I'm... a pug!" Peter announced, smiling with the last one. "I'm a creamy pug!" Peter added with heart-melting (Tony) amounts of enthusiasm, edging into the toddler area with his tone.

Harley scrunched up his nose, looking distinctly annoyed. "Hey why do you get to be a pug and I'm a stupid Goldieblehretrever?"

"Because I'm so ugly I'm cute."

"You're just ugly, really," Harley said with a smirk at the end. "The only thing, the only thing cute about you is your grave."

"Okay! That's enough," Tony decided, slightly distracting himself from the road he's driving on. "We aren't going to talk about that, mmkay?"

"Fine," Harley and peter said at the same time, a chorus of impertinence and agreement from the two boys.

It was silent for two seconds, and Tony had a sigh of relief. Those boys never stopped talking, like this might be the record of silence--

"Let's talk about kiwis!"

................................................................................

They parked a few blocks away from... nowhere, they were just going to wander around and hope to find something to do, really. Tony was the first to get out, trying to escape Peter and Harley chattering about Kiwis and Coconuts and Dragonfruit. The noise hurt his ears, although he chose not to say anything, like a good dad.

The boys were the noise, and the noise followed Tony wherever he went.

So he took the opportunity to listen to them, and observe their speech and mind. While Harley added funny comments here and there, Peter was telling a story and while speaking made hand gestures, an unconscious movement and natural to the human eye, but also aiding the speech and interesting him more. It was a tactic he'd learned in school- not in a class, that was useless, just in his spare time- that people will pay more attention to the speaker if they are either pacing the stage, doing hand motions, or something of that kind.

"...And her name was Summer, and her sister's name was Meadow, and I was like um, ok I think we get it, you -the parents like that season..." He and Harley laughed and added comments on how the next child would be named Fleur or something.

They continued to talk while walking the streets, sometimes asking Tony a question or listening with all-ears of one of his stories. Tony wasn't really paying attention but at one point he's pretty sure Peter and Harley traded their head attire, so now Harley had the crimson earmuffs and Peter had the black tuque with the words on rainbow cursive, small font 'Treat people with kindness'.

They came to the yellow glowed-up stores with fake red fuzzy Santas and toy elves with Christmas lights, and Peter was skipping down the street without a care in the world, occasionally running to a window so he could admire a white Christmas tree ("Look! It's white!" Tony smiled softly at peter's excitement. "It is fake though." Peter turned to him and Harley, eyes twinkling and mouth grinning. "But it's _white!"_ ) he smiled at everyone and said hi to a dog covered in snow that passed, bouncing like a young child and his face never breaking that endless smile.

They walked past many stores that looked so inviting, and even though Peter was tempted to go in, he had his mind already set to one destination: The Metro.

Yeah, it didn't sound very exciting, but he was extremely set on making his Birthday dinner from scratch, and to do that they needed food since the cupboards there mostly consisted of Pizza Pockets, pop tarts and candy bars, with plenty of frozen berries and juices and jams for some reason- He was pretty sure Loki liked the taste of fruity things, but it was just a guess.

When he told Tony it was where he wante to go, Tony replied, "We can do that at the end, so we won't be carrying heavy grocery bags around for hours. Capische?"

" 'Kay."

They wandered around for about twenty minutes until a certain pet store captured and held Peter's attention hostage. It didn't have anyone except a little girl and her mum, and the two employees.

"Please can we go in there? Please please I wanna pet the an-e-mals!"

Tony smiled. "That is where we were headed, in fact. Yeah, we can go in."

And that was Tony's worst mistake.

\---------------

**_20 minutes later:_ **

"Please?"

Tony bit his lip. He couldn't spoil the surprise, but he also needed to leave.

You see, Tony has already spoken with the manager, and he said he would keep the certain dog named Tessa as 'sold' until Tony is ready to pick her up and deliver it as Peter's Christmas gift.

"come on, Pete. You know we can't have animals in the tower."

"We have Clint, Sam, T'Challa, Scott..."

"...you..."

"Hush hush I'm a spider. " 

"Well _SPidER,"_ Harley mocks, slinging an arm around Peter's shoulders, "We can steal it and hide it somewhere and Stank will _never know."_

"You couldn't steal anything." Tony smirks. "You'd probably wake up half the block with your clomping footsteps." 

Harley lets out a scoff. "Um, says the one who got busted by a seven-year-old with a fucking _potato gun."_

Tony wrinkles his nose. 

"Sorry Harls, but I gotta agree with dad on this one. You'd mess something up." Peter says. They start walking out of the shop, Tony thanking the staff that let Peter say hi to the dogs. 

"Then I'd win them over," Harley argues. 

"How would you do that?"

"With this smile," He flashes his teeth. "And these abs," He runs a finger down his side in a sassy manner. "I could get away with anything."

"What abs?" Peter teases.

Harley opens his mouth. "How dare you! I have abs! You've just never seen them!"

"Because they don't exist...!" Peter says in a singsong voice.

Harley humphs. "Whatever. You only have them because you were bitten by a spider. And by the way, now that I think about it, it doesn't sound all that hero-like."

"Uh-- Hey! I- I had abs before!... I did!"

"Whatever rocks your boat, Peter," Tony says with an eye-roll.

Peter, being offended they don't believe his lies, makes a noise and marches to the side of where they are walking, grabs a handful of snow and throws half of it at Tony's chest, and the other half at Harleys.

Tony looks unfazed, only a simple eyebrow of interest and amusement raised in Peters's direction; Harley though, he let out a cry and yelled (for some reason in a British accent) "How _dare_ you!" (He might have been going for Hermione a bit there.)

Peter's eyes widened and his face split into a smile that shouldn't even be possible for his face proportions, he might have broken a few cheekbones in the process. Then he let out a happy, and terrified squeal and started running away from Harley, who scooped up a handful of the dirtiest, most muddy, brownish-black sludge from the far side of the path, and ran after him, yelling "Come back here ya little egg boy!"

Peter was desperately trying to get away while singing the Humpty Dumpty song.

Tony sighed and smiled at his two amazing, wild boys who were now- oh no, Harley tackled Peter to the ground and shoved the snow through his hair and in his hat. Well, that sucks.

Harley got up from sitting on Peter and put a foot on his chest. "VICTORY!!!!" He shouted deeply, his red-cheeked face turning in Tony's direction with a smile to fight Peters. Harley's leg bounced every time peter let out a laugh, causing Harley's attention to be drawn to the defeated teen with the same smile Tony saw. Harley suddenly jumped up, so now both feet were on Peter's stomach, and he raised his hands into the air and yelled "I HAVE CONQUERED THE MIGHTY BEAST!!!!"

And then from the last air he had left in his lungs, Peter wheezed out "Spider."

Harley put a foot on peter's face. "Shut up."

"Harley you probably stepped in dog poop on the way here don't put it over his mouth. If he vomits for a week straight because he caught some sort of dog-shit flu, you are going to be the one cleaning it up."

Harley's expression doesn't change, but his eyes spark with mischief. "Good. If he throws up, I will clean it up by ordering him to eat it again."

Tony muttered an ew, Peter let out a muffled cry. Harley looked triumphant.

"Modern problems require modern solutions."

He not-so-gently stepped off Peter's face, giving it one last shove down. Peter immediately started complaining, sitting up in the process. "You're so mean to me I hate you you are supposed to be nice dad make him sit in the corner he can join his brethren in the garbage can" and more stuff like that.

Harley latched himself onto Tony's arm as if claiming him, then glaring at Peter when he tried to take the other arm. Tony kept walking, his face impassive, and looking straight ahead. He was used to it.

"Dad, can I have a candy?" Peter mumbled like a toddler, his puppy eyes surfacing on their own.

"I don't have any with me, sorry."

Peter refused to believe it. "Yes you doooooo. I want canddyyyyyyyyy"

Tony sighed. He knew where this was going. "I don't have any candy, but we can get some from the shop over there, how does that sound?"

Peter let out a loud sigh, dragging it on. "Fine" The thing was, he didn't _want_ that candy. He wanted the candy that his father was supposed to have with him. Why didn't he have candy.

Harley is looking at the passing cars and people, clearly not paying attention, when Tony asks, "Harley? You've been uncharacteristically non-hyberverbal."

Harley's attention snaps to them. He frowns. "What?"

"Do you want candy?"

Harley seems to actually consider it for a second. "Uh, sure." He says, his voice not the usual sarcastic tone.

Tony's brown eyes locked with Harley's green ones. "Harls, if you don't want to, we can keep going instead of stopping at that place."

Harley bit his lip and glanced at Peter to see what his reaction was. Peter was also looking worridly at him, then noticed Harleys eyes and offered a small smile, saying it was okay. Harley rubbed his eyes. "Um, I don't know. Can we keep going?"

Tony nodded and put a hand around his shoulders. "Of course Harls. Next stop is home. You can sleep in the car or whatever."

Harley, sensing an opportunity, drapes himself across Tony's shoulders, putting his full weight (and trying to add more) on Tony's body. Tony grunts and tries to adjust to Harley, who is purposely walking weirdly.

"Hold me, I am unable to strut in my princess tower, I feel myself becoming drowsy and in need for a mint chocolate chip ice cream."

Peter cheered. Tony smiled. "But it's winter. Don't you want something warm, like hot chocolate?"

Peter shook his head. "Nope."

Harley rolled his eyes. "No one drinks _hot chocolate_ anymore, dad. It's like, _so_ last season. Plus, I'm a big boy, I can have coffee."

"Hey! I drink hot chocolate!"

"Shut up midget."

"I thought you wanted to go home," Tony inputs, looking to his side to get a better view of Harley, who left his shoulder when Tony didn't complain or get a reaction.

"Yes I do, but stopping by a yummy in my tummy ice cream place- I wouldn't mind."

"But you have to save room for dinner. And cake!"

He had them convinced.

It was quiet for a few moments, until Peter mumbled, "I'm gonna eat all the yummy cake, none've you are gonna get _any_ because its my birfday and I make the rules take that hahaha." 

"I still want cake," Tony replies without being asked. Peter looks at him, not very surprised he heard what he said.

"Well you don't get any."

"Yeah, it's only me 'n Peter's. Isn't that right little bro?"

Peter chuckles dryly. "You wish."

"Well then I'll help you hide it all from dad."

Tony scoffs. Peter gives him a fistbump. "Ooh yeah you tell him big bro. We are dominating you dad!"

Tonys wrinkles his nose. "Dominating?"

"YOU HEARD ME!" And then Peter jumps onto Tony's back to prove a point. Tony, who had his hands in his pockets to keep them warm, took them out and now had them around Peters's legs to keep him upright. Peter didn't slide off and stayed there, something that started out as an assertive action now just something Peter enjoys, unlike Harley, who only did it to irritate.

They kept walking like that, Harley beside Tony, who had Peter on his back, who had his hands on Tony's head and was trying to steer him by turning it to the sides, and into a cafe down the street.

"Come on, please? Hot chocolate and marshmallows at Milo & Eddies? They have great drinks." Peter says and leans forewards so his cheek is against the top of Tony's head.

Tony sighed. "Peter, you know we have food at the tower, right?"

And yes, of course, Peter knew this, and yes, Peter wanted the hot chocolate from the cafe... But that isn't what he _really_ wanted. He was running low on sugar packets and those plastic sticks, and he needed them. Why, he wasn't sure. He just needed to collect more sugar packets. To him, if there was a zombie apocalypse, _that_ would be his food supply. Not crackers, not Jerkey, but sugar packets and plastic spoons. Maybe he'd throw in a Jos Louis too, those are to _die_ for.

So Peter looked to Harley pleadingly, asking him with his eyes (and slight mouthing) to help him convince their dad to bring them to the cafe. But they must have been silent too long and did not hide their silent conversation as well as they thought, and Tony looked sideways at Harley.

"What are you two talking about? Don't leave me in the mud." Is what he said.

"What about the snow?" Harley retorted with a goofy grin that made his face look even more like a child's'.

"Uh, no thanks." 

Peter was one and a half years younger than Harley and was always the more physical and affectionate type. Like right now, he was getting carried on Tony's back and leaning into him like a child, while Harley strode beside them, a small smile on his face and his hands in his pockets. It was one of the reasons the three's relationship worked so well, Peter was always a very touchy person, while Harley wasn't, and Tony was neutral about it.

Like right now, Harley was sure if Peter wasn't resting on Tony's back or had an arm around Harley's shoulders he would be running ahead, throwing snowballs at them or skipping to the end of the street so he'd have enough time to make a small snowman.

It was one of the things Peter did without realizing that Tony and Harley adored about him, and never wanted to change.

They had walked past the café by now, and Peter felt suddenly tired and sleepy, so he wasn't going to try and convince Tony to bring them in. Tony could feel the sudden weight change of Peter, how he held onto him loosely, and how he was leaning into Tony, his cheek against the older man's head.

So as Peter fell asleep on Tony's back, Tony and Harley engage in a conversation between themselves about the other Avengers. (They would never admit it, but the duo finds amusement in gossip).

They were so caught up in speaking that neither of them noticed the people who had started to recognize them, and were now taking pictures and videos across the street. Then the paparazzi made an appearance.

They approached in small groups at first, giggly and breathless people asking to take a photo with them, then gradually the commotion drew attention to everyone, and the next thing Tony and Harley knew, they were trying to fight their way through a sea of people in coats with their phones out.

What finally did it for Tony and Harley, what snapped their anger on, was when Peter woke up suddenly and was so overwhelmed he began shaking and whimpered in Tony's ear, "dad I'm scared."

Harley knew because of his enhanced senses the roar of the crowd must be so painful in his sensitive ears. So he took off his own earmuffs and put them over Peters's hat, then pulled down the front of it so it covered his eyes, which would not only help block everything out but also keep his identity as Tony's son secret. Or so they thought. He kept his hands over Peters's ears protectively to help muffle the sound.

Tony kept a firmer grip on him and Harley has a hand on his back, both of them trying to get their way through and to the car that was parked just down the street.

None of them answered any of the questions, ignoring everyone. And even though some of the questions made the two want to scream at the person to what they meant and _how the fuck do they know about Peter,_ they stopped themselves and saved it for when they were away from the cameras eye.

Once they got to their car, which wouldn't have been mistaken since it was a very expensive one, Tony handed Harley Peter, who switched with ease and cling to his brother instead, then they opened the doors and got in. Once Harley said he was good, Tony hit the gas pedal, and they sped off.


	11. Never

By the time they got home, everyone's energy was drained. Peter was curled up on the backseat, Harley watched the world flash by through the passenger window, and Tony drove with a stony expression, his emotions hid under the rock wall. 

On the news, you saw about the lives of celebrities, and the many pictures they have circulating the internet- but no one ever took into consideration that all those pictures, at least three more cameras were shoved into their face. 

They couldn't go out without being mobbed, had to book private activities, making new friends that weren't other celebrities was almost impossible, since all they saw where this famous person with an appearance that might not be the truth. 

Their lives are not private, if they get in trouble with police it ruins their reputation, if they break up the news outlets eat it up and spit out a twisted version of it- and the haters and critics judged every flaw, talent, and inch of skin they had. It was like playing badminton but the other team had rackets and you had a piece of paper.

It got stressful when you are famous, and since this is Peters first-ever interaction with cameras shoved in his face and people screaming in his ears, he was blinded and tense. How do you go from being a no-one-nerd from Queens to a mysterious media-attraction who hung out with Tony Stark? He felt like Ed Sheeran. 

**_..... Time skip to during dinner ....._ **

Once there was some food in his stomach though, Peter had plenty of hyper energy.

Peter walks into the kitchen to get seconds, chanting "I want sum chicken chicken I want sum chicken chicken" as the conversation at the table flows fluidly, continuing to talk until Peter gasps. "Where'd all the chicken go?!" He exclaimed, looking around the counter to see if some were hiding anywhere.

"It ran away!" Yelled Harley. Peter looked at him from where he stood.

"How could it run away if it had no legs?" He said. Harley shrugged.

"It slithered."

The table burst into laughter as Harley and Peter wiggled like a snake, saying in unison, "I'm a snnnekkkkkkk."

And then there was Loki, who gave them an approving nod.

Peter sat back down with substitute food of a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerio's, then listened to everyone talk as he played with the cereal, pushing all the Cheerio's undermilk with his spoon, and when they bounce back to the surface, getting frustrated and making it a challenge, where he _will_ beat those stupid Cheerio's and he will _win._

Thor, who sits across from him, was frowning in confusion (and slight concern) while watching Peter struggle, literally make growling noises at his bowl of milked Almonds (Stupid Harley and his Vegan-izm) and tiny donught breads.

He was confused, yes, but also kinda grateful he was born on Asgard. The people on earth and their customs are weird. It was a bit unsettling.

While everyone was either conversing, listening to Harry Styles sing 'Anna' in their head (*cough cough Harley), snarl at their bowl of Cheerio's to show dominance or whatever else, no one noticed how Clint was eyeing the half-eaten Chicken breast on Natashas plate.

So, not so subtly with his tongue between his teeth, Clint reached over, the fork extended, and-- _Now's my chance she's looking away!_ Clint thought, and he stabbed the chicken.

And Natasha, without looking at him, grabbed his withdrawing hand and making him cry out as she pushed her thumb onto his pressure point and making him release the fork.

Then, with a dangerous kind of calm, she said in a low voice, "Wanna try that again?"

Clint shook his head quickly and resembled very much like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar at the moment.

Natasha smiled, showing off her canine teeth. "Good," She replied, and let go of his wrist.

Rhodey was watching with a small smirk, because he was betting from the moment he caught Clint eyeing Natashas rotisserie chicken piece suspiciously that he would try something, and he would fail.

Circling back to Peter, who had given up and was now slunked low in his chair and pouting at the bowl of now-soggy cereal, Harley sat beside him, eating the garden salad he and Peter made earlier, fresh from the farmers market and just observed what was being talked about around him.

When he saw Peter, he knew he had to cheer him up, because there is no way Peter is crashing now. After dinner, maybe, but during dinner, and especially on his _birthday,_ he is going to be wild and crazy and on a sugar high whether he likes it or not.

So Harley slips his hand into his pocket discreetly, finds the bag, and takes it out, looking around suspiciously. Then he leans into Peters ear and says so only he can hear, "I've got what you need."

Peter leans back and whispers, "What's the lay?"

Harley smirks, and brings a napkin from the table onto his lap and sets down an array of the candies he has. "I got sour keys, gummy worms, easter eggs and gum, but make it quick. Cops are everywhere these days."

Peter giggles and peers over. Harley and Peter are both sitting at the same end, because it's both of their nights, but they didn't want to be separated. So this was the deal. They sit side by side, sharing the end, and sometimes stealing food from other people's plates while they aren't looking and sharing it between them.

Peter glances at the tale to make sure they aren't watching, and points at the gummy worms quickly.

"How much?" Harley asks.

"5 should get me buzzed."

"I'll throw in 6 for good measure."

Peter nods in agreement. "What's the pay--"

"What are you two doing?" Tony asks with a baffled expression across the table, looking at them and then to the table line where underneath they have hidden candies. Harley and Peter freeze.

"Um... drugs?" And Peter immediately winces.

They didn't get the reaction they thought though. 

Tony snorted. "Drugs, really?"

And then Harley and Peter, having the same brain, popped a candy into their mouth at the exact same time.

Tony's eyes widen. He stands and they start to giggle. "Boys are you really--"

But he's cut off by Peter saying through giggles "dad, dad dad we aren't doing drugs"

Tony runs a hand through his hair, breathing out shakily. "You should not have scared me like that, I--"

They popped another into their mouth, and Tony almost screamed.

"Would you like some?" Harley offered, forgetting that it hasn't been made clear they are in fact _not_ doing drugs. "It's already getting Peter on a high, see?" He gestured at Peter, who's pupils have dilated.

Tony gasps and says "Boys are you doing drugs?"

Peter, who has been really affected by the sugar in the gummy worms, giggles and says like a little kid, "If you count sugar a drug then _yesss."_

Tony who is on the verge of screaming in confusion, is interrupted by laughter. Loki had appeared behind Peter and Harley, and saw what they had in their lap.

"They've fooled you all!" He cackles, resting a hand on his stomach. "Good one boys, I'll remember that. You're on my team for the Hunger Games."

The Hunger Games was just a fun game they liked to play as a family, involving prank wars, Nerf wars, and many more wars. 

Harley caught on finally and started cackling with him. "Oh my god dad you thought we were doing _drugs!?!"_ He bursts into another fit of laughter. "That's hilarious!"

Tony grumbled some things and sat back down, totally unaware of what would be his demise. They forgot how crazy Peter got on a sugar high. And the candy Harley gave was special candy designed specifically for superhumans. They all forgot. And they all would die.

No one noticed how Peter was no longer in his seat. No one could see what was under the table.

No one knew.

And that was when Peter striked.

He crawled from his chair to the other side of the table skittering out at the other end and then military-crawled into the kitchen, keeping low to the ground. Once he was in, he waited until there was a laugh to open the freezer.

And there it was.

"It's beatiful," He whispered in awe.

It was the cake.

And it was _all his._

And just as he stuck his hand in the freezer, there was a shriek.

"What the fuck are you doing Peter!? What the hell!!?" Tony yelled.

Peters head snapped in his direction and his eyes flicked to Tonys face area. But he didn't see him. And with that look Tony knew he should run.

Peter was no longer human.

To prove that point, Peter hissed at him and skittered to his room on the ceiling.

It took 30 minutes to stop Tony from shaking and Harley coaxing Peter back to the kitchen. When he came back, he was only fed vegetables.

And when it was cake time, Peter was not allowed any.

**_.......... Time skip to after cake ........._ **

"I really don't wanna do all these dishes," mumbles Sam, looking at the people eating and their dirty plates, then the sink and dishwasher like his life has just ended.

"Well it's your turn!" Chirps Tony, earning a glare from the other.

"You're a mechanic or billionaire or something, why don't you just invent something that does it for us?"

"Actually," Peter says. "There is something that will clean up your kitchen nice!"

Sam raises his eyebrows doubt. "What is it?"

"KITCHEN GUN! BANG BANG BANG!"

"Aren't you sad that you have to deal with a bunch of shit tomorrow?" Asks Nat, And Steve Yells Language.

Peter nods vigorously, chewing on a carrot. "oh yeah."

"Don't speak with food in your mouth," corrects Steve, trying to teach the boy manners. It only makes Peter take a huge bite and eat with his mouth open. Steve wrinkles his nose.

"I'm supes doomed for tomorrow. But I'm kinda at that point where 'eh adult life is already so _goddamn weird,_ I might as well.'"

Harley cheered.

"I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!" Busts out Steve enthusiastically. Heads turn to him. He's smiling like a doofus, and even when everyone's attention is back on Peter, he thinks to himself proudly, _I understood!_

"So is it still sleepover night with MJ and Ned?" Tony asks as he picks at his food.

Harley, who was wrinkling his nose in disgust at Clint, who ate an slice of cake in 10 seconds (He needed to beat his record), heard them and glanced up.

"I thought we were going to have a sleepover." He says with a confused, and somewhat hurt look. _Every_ month when Harley visits they have a sleepover and stay up all night, and he missed Peter so so much, and to _not_ do that feels like a rejection. And Harley has already had enough of that in his life.

Peter saw how Harley got sad and immediately jumped to reassure him. "No, no Hars bar it's okay, me and MJ and Ned are still gonna have the sleepover, but you're gonna join. It'll be fun, promise." He says with a smile.

"So... we- we still get our sleepover?" Harley asks nervously.

Peter beams. "Of course!"

And while Peter and Harley started chatting to each other animatedly, Tony paled with each minute passed, lisening to their plans. After "we'll play Nerf War but with what Shuri made" he tried to tune out, because whatever Shuri made, and whatever their other plans are, sure won't be good.


End file.
